After 17 months of carrying it around, 10 months after it as last used, i've finally done it!
Done what? Had my port-o cath removed. Thats the 'plug' that they surgically implant to make it easier to feed the intravenous chemo into. That doesnt mean no more chemo, ever. But it does mean that I'm highly unlikely to have it, given the hassle (not to mention the expense) of having it put back in again.
So thats another step along the journey, one small step perhaps, but significant when you know the battle is still being fought, and is far from over.
Other 'complications' have settled down, although I am due to go in for an xray or scan on my side ribs which have been causing me some dscomfort. Sooner rather than later I hope, so I can tick that box as well.
Still feeling OK, but VERY drowsy after the mini surgery this morning, so its a taking it easy day today.
Thanks, as always for your continued prayer and support - you'll never really know how much I appreciate it.
And, on a positive note, as I sit in this cafe looking over a piece of North Shore paradise, with a cloudless blue sky and stunning beach in the background, we know we are very blessed. As always.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Moving on...
Xrays are funny things, arent they? My last one (last week) showed that one of the tumors in the lungs had increased in size, following on from the last increase, and yet I feel ok. No noticeable cough, no shortness of breath, no huffing and puffing when I walk or climb stairs. So the oncologist is prepared to 'watch and wait' and see what happens. As am I!
Next week i get my portocath removed. Thats the 'plug' they put in your chest to pump the chemo into, and it hasnt been used since Jan this year! So after nearly 17 months, its coming out. The oncologist, I suspect, would rather it stay in - just in case I need more chemo down the track.
Well, thats not going to happen. Most of my ongoing side effects are chemo related, and even though I don't regret having it, enough is enough, and I'd rather enjoy what time I have left than suffer through more insidious (and guaranteed!) side effects for the sake of a few more years - perhaps.
So thats it, lets see what happend from here. The 'new improved' diet and the wonderful (very expensive) supplements are doing their job, and we'll keep on keeping on.
Since having been diagnosed with cancer, i've been blessed to be the poppa of two more grandchildren (6 now!) so every day is a bonus.
Every day is filled with new promises, new possibilitiues and the chance to make a difference - so lets live them to the max!
Next week i get my portocath removed. Thats the 'plug' they put in your chest to pump the chemo into, and it hasnt been used since Jan this year! So after nearly 17 months, its coming out. The oncologist, I suspect, would rather it stay in - just in case I need more chemo down the track.
Well, thats not going to happen. Most of my ongoing side effects are chemo related, and even though I don't regret having it, enough is enough, and I'd rather enjoy what time I have left than suffer through more insidious (and guaranteed!) side effects for the sake of a few more years - perhaps.
So thats it, lets see what happend from here. The 'new improved' diet and the wonderful (very expensive) supplements are doing their job, and we'll keep on keeping on.
Since having been diagnosed with cancer, i've been blessed to be the poppa of two more grandchildren (6 now!) so every day is a bonus.
Every day is filled with new promises, new possibilitiues and the chance to make a difference - so lets live them to the max!
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
No surgery...yet?
I really wasnt looking forward to this one. A visit to a knife-happy surgeon who thought he should remove the chemo-induced growths in unmentionable places of my deliacte anatomy.
Just when I thoiught I had claimed a bit of dignity back, the 'pre surgery ' procedure just reinforced that cancer patients, no matter who they are, are stripped of any dignity at all. The discomfort was there tro remind us that its not over till its over, as they say.
after a few Hmmms and Ahhhs, which seemed to take forever. he (thank goodness it was a he!) gave me the options.Surgery is possible, but the radiation of last year has left the surrounding tissue pretty well irrepairable, and it may take months of repeat visits for skin grafts, and removing fresh growths (they cant guarantee trhey'll get them all!).
the other alternative is using a very powerful medication, which stings like crazy, works in most cases, and is not funded by Pharmac, and its horrendously expensive!
He's exporing avenues where funding MIGHT apply, and Ihe seems to think I have a good chance at it, but no guarantees!
So there we go - 4 months application of stuff i'm going to have to be a contortionist to apply, and guaranteed pain at every application (which he said, grinning, that you do get used to. Thanks for nothing!
So it looks asthough i'll be doing a lot more standing, lot less sitting from here on in!
No one said the journey would be easy, or short, but despite all the downsides, I'm not walking it alone.
That continues to give me hope. And hope is what helps us face the future, with al the possibilities and challenges that very new day brings. Great, huh?
Just when I thoiught I had claimed a bit of dignity back, the 'pre surgery ' procedure just reinforced that cancer patients, no matter who they are, are stripped of any dignity at all. The discomfort was there tro remind us that its not over till its over, as they say.
after a few Hmmms and Ahhhs, which seemed to take forever. he (thank goodness it was a he!) gave me the options.Surgery is possible, but the radiation of last year has left the surrounding tissue pretty well irrepairable, and it may take months of repeat visits for skin grafts, and removing fresh growths (they cant guarantee trhey'll get them all!).
the other alternative is using a very powerful medication, which stings like crazy, works in most cases, and is not funded by Pharmac, and its horrendously expensive!
He's exporing avenues where funding MIGHT apply, and Ihe seems to think I have a good chance at it, but no guarantees!
So there we go - 4 months application of stuff i'm going to have to be a contortionist to apply, and guaranteed pain at every application (which he said, grinning, that you do get used to. Thanks for nothing!
So it looks asthough i'll be doing a lot more standing, lot less sitting from here on in!
No one said the journey would be easy, or short, but despite all the downsides, I'm not walking it alone.
That continues to give me hope. And hope is what helps us face the future, with al the possibilities and challenges that very new day brings. Great, huh?
Sunday, October 7, 2012
A different kind of cancer
You don't know Max. I've been visiting Max for nearly a year now. Once a month, sometimes more often, certainly in the past few weeks. Max contacted us - he was about to be paroled from Paremoremo, and he was looking for someone, ideally from a church. to connect with to help him when he 'left the pen'. You see, he didn't want to go back to his old haunts, get in with the old crowd, because he knew that would only end one way - back to prison. He didn't want that.
So I called in to see him, a number of times. Went to the inmates 'family days' and witnessed the sad sight of the dysfunctional trying to help the criminal. Went to the parole hearings, where overworked and often disinterested judges ticked the boxes, or, in one case, were downright hostile. But most of all, I listened to Max's story. Depressingly familiar. Son of a low socio family in heartland NZ, alcoholic father who was rarely there, and when he was, made life hell for the family. A mum who drifted from man to man, all of them leeches who certainly didn't want her kids around. Max dropped out of school, got in with the wrong crowd (surprise, surprise) and became a victim of the most common, most available, socially acceptable drug - alcohol.
For 8 years, from the age of 19, he was in and out out prison for a variety of low level convictions. Burglary, car conversion, receiving - you name it. Then one night, after a bender and totally drunk, he sexually assaulted a young girl. It was admittedly low-level, but in the eyes of the law, serious enough for a 4 year sentence.
During his time in prison, Max had time to relfect on his life, and, with the help of some excellent counsellors
made some hard calls. He was going to give up drinking (for good), he was not going back to his 'old crowd' and he desperately wanted a second chance to redeem himself and become in his words, someone who 'earned respect, man'.
So he made a brave call. He contacted a church in the area, Our church. I picked it up by default, and began to visit him. What a combo! A senior, middle class white guy who seen most of his best days (and making the most of the days he has!) and a nervous 30 year old going on 19, severely lacking in social skills, yet yearning for someone to reach out and help. I was struck with his positive attitude, his naive enthusiasm, and his willingness to let others into his life who could make a positive contribution. He showed hidden talents - his building skill and home mechanics were well above average, and he was breaking out of his skin to get a job, work hard and make an honest days living.
Max was paroled in early August. Hes now living in the city, close to every temptation you could possible imagine. His parole officer has already changed 3 times - they're typically overworked and only interested in ticking the boxes (or as Max would say, covering their butts). Max has had visits, and has been to visit, members of the family, but is aware of the gulf that now exits between his old life, and what he wants his life to be. We're trying hard to find him a new place to live, find him a job, integrate him with people who care, rather than those who will take advantage of him, and lead him back into the comfort of what he was familiar with. Hes even had the courage to go to a local city church, where he really enjoyed the music and 'felt good' - hes quite a dab hand on the guitar as well! But very few folk talked to him, or made him feel welcome.
All he wants is people to give him a hand up, not a hand out. Guys who will give him a call, take him out for a meal, a coffee, a chat. Maybe a drive around the city. Some advice on budgetting, planning for the future. Guys he can depend on. There are no brownie points here, no gold stars, no thanks from the authorities. Indeed, people may even wonder what on earth you're doing. helping a low-life like that.
Its called second chances, and everyone deserves one.
Even Max. Especially Max.
Churches are great at mission statements, prayer meetings and worship. But when it comes to walking the walk, sometimes we're seriously found wanting. Things that extend us, take us out of our comfort zone, call for a commitment of our time (and money) we dismiss and, like the Levite, cross to the other side of the road. Its not our business!
Well, actually it is. Matthew 25, v35-40 reminds us of that. I'd love your help.And Max would REALLY love your friendship. You don't need a counselling or theological degree. Just a heart, and the ability to listen. And guess what? You'll be blessed as well, knowing youre making a difference.
(Max is not his real name - I've change it to preserve his privacy.)
So I called in to see him, a number of times. Went to the inmates 'family days' and witnessed the sad sight of the dysfunctional trying to help the criminal. Went to the parole hearings, where overworked and often disinterested judges ticked the boxes, or, in one case, were downright hostile. But most of all, I listened to Max's story. Depressingly familiar. Son of a low socio family in heartland NZ, alcoholic father who was rarely there, and when he was, made life hell for the family. A mum who drifted from man to man, all of them leeches who certainly didn't want her kids around. Max dropped out of school, got in with the wrong crowd (surprise, surprise) and became a victim of the most common, most available, socially acceptable drug - alcohol.
For 8 years, from the age of 19, he was in and out out prison for a variety of low level convictions. Burglary, car conversion, receiving - you name it. Then one night, after a bender and totally drunk, he sexually assaulted a young girl. It was admittedly low-level, but in the eyes of the law, serious enough for a 4 year sentence.
During his time in prison, Max had time to relfect on his life, and, with the help of some excellent counsellors
made some hard calls. He was going to give up drinking (for good), he was not going back to his 'old crowd' and he desperately wanted a second chance to redeem himself and become in his words, someone who 'earned respect, man'.
So he made a brave call. He contacted a church in the area, Our church. I picked it up by default, and began to visit him. What a combo! A senior, middle class white guy who seen most of his best days (and making the most of the days he has!) and a nervous 30 year old going on 19, severely lacking in social skills, yet yearning for someone to reach out and help. I was struck with his positive attitude, his naive enthusiasm, and his willingness to let others into his life who could make a positive contribution. He showed hidden talents - his building skill and home mechanics were well above average, and he was breaking out of his skin to get a job, work hard and make an honest days living.
Max was paroled in early August. Hes now living in the city, close to every temptation you could possible imagine. His parole officer has already changed 3 times - they're typically overworked and only interested in ticking the boxes (or as Max would say, covering their butts). Max has had visits, and has been to visit, members of the family, but is aware of the gulf that now exits between his old life, and what he wants his life to be. We're trying hard to find him a new place to live, find him a job, integrate him with people who care, rather than those who will take advantage of him, and lead him back into the comfort of what he was familiar with. Hes even had the courage to go to a local city church, where he really enjoyed the music and 'felt good' - hes quite a dab hand on the guitar as well! But very few folk talked to him, or made him feel welcome.
All he wants is people to give him a hand up, not a hand out. Guys who will give him a call, take him out for a meal, a coffee, a chat. Maybe a drive around the city. Some advice on budgetting, planning for the future. Guys he can depend on. There are no brownie points here, no gold stars, no thanks from the authorities. Indeed, people may even wonder what on earth you're doing. helping a low-life like that.
Its called second chances, and everyone deserves one.
Even Max. Especially Max.
Churches are great at mission statements, prayer meetings and worship. But when it comes to walking the walk, sometimes we're seriously found wanting. Things that extend us, take us out of our comfort zone, call for a commitment of our time (and money) we dismiss and, like the Levite, cross to the other side of the road. Its not our business!
Well, actually it is. Matthew 25, v35-40 reminds us of that. I'd love your help.And Max would REALLY love your friendship. You don't need a counselling or theological degree. Just a heart, and the ability to listen. And guess what? You'll be blessed as well, knowing youre making a difference.
(Max is not his real name - I've change it to preserve his privacy.)
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Opportunites.
Last week - another xray, scan and a steady as she goes result. they detected slight (very slight) increases in the tumors in the lungs, although i personally didnt spot them (but then, i'm just the patient!)
While this is not the result i wanted, the oncologist wasn't perturbed, and was more interested in how i feel, and how I'm coping. To be frank, it hadnt' been the best week, but he was very happy with progress, although he did mention the 'c' word again as being a possibility in the future. Not if i can help it!
So the next appointment is now not till early November!! Great news!
I'll let you know when.
Tomorrow i see two cancer patients. No names at this stage to repect their privacy. One has been referred by the Listener as a result of the article that appeared a couple of weeks ago on Food and Cancer. Jenny Bowden did a great job with the article, and the photographer was very flattering with the photo! (so i've been told!)
The guy is a grade 3 cancer patient, and is very nervous about upcoming treatment, so i'll be happy to give him a few pointers.
Another woman has been referred by Dave, my contact for Salvestrol, and she has a grade 4 cancer very similar to what i have. Scary close! So I've arranged to meet her and her husband and tell her about my 'journey' and put her mind at rest, and give her all the options that she won't hear from her oncologist.
All pro bono of course! Hardly helps put food on the table, but if we can help save or prolong a life, that is sufficient reward.
Life keeps going, busy as ever with Hornsnoggle Ferret, granchildren, household chores, exercise (all too little) and a myriad of church stuff which I wont bore you with. So our journey continues. You're a part of it, so keep asking, keep healthy, keep active, keep praying. Who s it that said 'you can complain about the rainclouds in your life, or you can dance in the puddles' Over to you.
While this is not the result i wanted, the oncologist wasn't perturbed, and was more interested in how i feel, and how I'm coping. To be frank, it hadnt' been the best week, but he was very happy with progress, although he did mention the 'c' word again as being a possibility in the future. Not if i can help it!
So the next appointment is now not till early November!! Great news!
I'll let you know when.
Tomorrow i see two cancer patients. No names at this stage to repect their privacy. One has been referred by the Listener as a result of the article that appeared a couple of weeks ago on Food and Cancer. Jenny Bowden did a great job with the article, and the photographer was very flattering with the photo! (so i've been told!)
The guy is a grade 3 cancer patient, and is very nervous about upcoming treatment, so i'll be happy to give him a few pointers.
Another woman has been referred by Dave, my contact for Salvestrol, and she has a grade 4 cancer very similar to what i have. Scary close! So I've arranged to meet her and her husband and tell her about my 'journey' and put her mind at rest, and give her all the options that she won't hear from her oncologist.
All pro bono of course! Hardly helps put food on the table, but if we can help save or prolong a life, that is sufficient reward.
Life keeps going, busy as ever with Hornsnoggle Ferret, granchildren, household chores, exercise (all too little) and a myriad of church stuff which I wont bore you with. So our journey continues. You're a part of it, so keep asking, keep healthy, keep active, keep praying. Who s it that said 'you can complain about the rainclouds in your life, or you can dance in the puddles' Over to you.
Sunday, September 2, 2012
What the Listener DIDN'T say...
The Listener issue 1 Sept (with special thanks to Jenny Bowden) ran an article on Fighting cancer with Food.
Great article (but then I have a vested interest!), but what was left unsaid is probably just as important as what was said. Jenny was right - and she had the stats from the various cancer research groups to back her up- the right diet can make a real difference both in the prevention and the fighting of cancer. But its not the whole story. After what I've experienced, you need more than just a good, healthy diet. The 'extras' like lemon, lemongrass tea, fruit and veg juice drinks, are important, The supplements I take, the MAX range and Salvestrols, have played a huge role in fighting the effects of the chemo while helping build up the immune system - vitally important if you are undergoing medical cancer treatment.
Then there is exercise. Yes, it was mentiuoned, but not highlighted, and the importance of regular daily 30-40 minute strenuous exercise cannot be over-rated (mind you, that applies even if you are in good health).
The right attitude? Does that help? Absolutely. Not easy when you're having those 'dark days' following treatment, and when the effects of the chemo and radiation begin to kick in. But its by keeping doing what you do, maintaining a schedule and accomplishing tasks, no matter how small, that give you a sense of purpose and give you a reason to keep going.
Then there's prayer. Its amazing how even non-believers turn to prayer when they're fighting cancer. Maybe the old saying is true - there are no atheists in foxholes.
As a Christian, I cannot even begin to tell you what a comfiort and blessing it has been to have a God to turn to that I know hears and answers prayer, and as important, to have friends and family praying for me. It helps strengthens their faith, it gives me hope and peace i would not have otherwise, and it helps us look beyond ourselves and see a bigger picture, a higher purpose. After all, life isn't all about us.
So thanks, Listener. I wish the whole story could have been told, but hey, its a start, and for that I am grateful. Lets keep on fighting the good fight together.
Great article (but then I have a vested interest!), but what was left unsaid is probably just as important as what was said. Jenny was right - and she had the stats from the various cancer research groups to back her up- the right diet can make a real difference both in the prevention and the fighting of cancer. But its not the whole story. After what I've experienced, you need more than just a good, healthy diet. The 'extras' like lemon, lemongrass tea, fruit and veg juice drinks, are important, The supplements I take, the MAX range and Salvestrols, have played a huge role in fighting the effects of the chemo while helping build up the immune system - vitally important if you are undergoing medical cancer treatment.
Then there is exercise. Yes, it was mentiuoned, but not highlighted, and the importance of regular daily 30-40 minute strenuous exercise cannot be over-rated (mind you, that applies even if you are in good health).
The right attitude? Does that help? Absolutely. Not easy when you're having those 'dark days' following treatment, and when the effects of the chemo and radiation begin to kick in. But its by keeping doing what you do, maintaining a schedule and accomplishing tasks, no matter how small, that give you a sense of purpose and give you a reason to keep going.
Then there's prayer. Its amazing how even non-believers turn to prayer when they're fighting cancer. Maybe the old saying is true - there are no atheists in foxholes.
As a Christian, I cannot even begin to tell you what a comfiort and blessing it has been to have a God to turn to that I know hears and answers prayer, and as important, to have friends and family praying for me. It helps strengthens their faith, it gives me hope and peace i would not have otherwise, and it helps us look beyond ourselves and see a bigger picture, a higher purpose. After all, life isn't all about us.
So thanks, Listener. I wish the whole story could have been told, but hey, its a start, and for that I am grateful. Lets keep on fighting the good fight together.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
THE LONGEST EVENT...
What a great Olympics! When the dust has settled we can look back on our Kiwi team with a great deal of pride. As we reflect on the 13 medals, 5 of them gold, plus all the joy of the medal winners, the heartbreak of those who came so close, the satisfaction of the PBs achieved, consider the monumental effort that every one of the team put into their training, preparation, and the burning desire they had to achieve victory. No overnight success stories here, just a result of hard graft, years of committment and hanging tough when they must have wondered if it was all worth the effort.
So what sport takes out the endurance medal.? What event takes the longest to compete at the games and the most time? The answer might surprise you. Yachting. Yep, it took Ben Ainslie (and our own super golden girls!) 6 days on the water, and up to 11 hours of competition to win their event. Not everything went to plan every day. Some days were disastrous, but most were pretty good. Some days they won, but not every day. It was consistency and sticking to the plan and believing in themselves that brought them the final victory.
I feel a bit like that with the cancer sometimes. Good days, mediocre days, some entirely forgettable days. But by ignoring the frustration and hangover of the effects of the chemo (even after 8 months!) my 'longest event' is made tolerable because I know, in the end, I'll finish the race. and when you have cancer, anyone who finishes the race is a victor in my book. It will take a while - years in fact - but by sticking to the plan, refining our 'training programme' and hanging tough even when it all seems too much, we'll make it.
So dont just be a bored spectator, be an active supporter - not just of me, but of anyone going through challenging or life changing health problems. You'll be blessed, and the person you encourage/pray for/help will be equally blessed.
Their victory will take longer than 6 days, or 11 hours of competition, but with you on their team, victory will be all the sweeter, and the medal belongs to us all. After all, anything worthwhile in life ios only achieved through a little hard graft.
Off to Oz this week, then back into Christmas Hornsbnoggle Ferret mode. He's been a great distraction!
So what sport takes out the endurance medal.? What event takes the longest to compete at the games and the most time? The answer might surprise you. Yachting. Yep, it took Ben Ainslie (and our own super golden girls!) 6 days on the water, and up to 11 hours of competition to win their event. Not everything went to plan every day. Some days were disastrous, but most were pretty good. Some days they won, but not every day. It was consistency and sticking to the plan and believing in themselves that brought them the final victory.
I feel a bit like that with the cancer sometimes. Good days, mediocre days, some entirely forgettable days. But by ignoring the frustration and hangover of the effects of the chemo (even after 8 months!) my 'longest event' is made tolerable because I know, in the end, I'll finish the race. and when you have cancer, anyone who finishes the race is a victor in my book. It will take a while - years in fact - but by sticking to the plan, refining our 'training programme' and hanging tough even when it all seems too much, we'll make it.
So dont just be a bored spectator, be an active supporter - not just of me, but of anyone going through challenging or life changing health problems. You'll be blessed, and the person you encourage/pray for/help will be equally blessed.
Their victory will take longer than 6 days, or 11 hours of competition, but with you on their team, victory will be all the sweeter, and the medal belongs to us all. After all, anything worthwhile in life ios only achieved through a little hard graft.
Off to Oz this week, then back into Christmas Hornsbnoggle Ferret mode. He's been a great distraction!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)