What happens on May 28?
well, that will probably be the date of the next scan. Very quick, i know, but the oncologist is very keen that I start on the next round of chemo very soon after that. The last week has seen me doing a LOT of research, more than normally, so the bad news for him is that I probably WONT be going ahead with any more chemo!
The new chemo, Irinotecan, is even more potent than the last round, Oxipalatin, and heavens knows that was bad enough. The side effects of this one are almost guaranteed - nausea, ulcers, hair loss, diorrehea (for which i will almost certainly need hospitalisation every few days in the two weekly cycle.) But even worse, and the decider for me, is that the immune system gets hammered, almost to the point where the white blood cells can no longer do their job of protecting the body against disease or any infection. So i ask myself, whats the point of having a few months longer (so they say,) but having a totally crap quality of life, when i could be living comparatively normally, (possibly for a shorter time) save for the lingering effects of the previous chemo!
So in the course of my reasearch, and due to the timely email help from Joanne Chee (thanks Joanne) i am embarking on my own 'healing regime' - courtesy of Marcus Freudenmann, through his remarkable book and DVD, called Cancer is Curable Now! This means stepping up my diet quality -it has slipped a bit over the last few months- doing some intentional exercise, and maintaining and increasing my supplement regime, not a cheap exercise, but very necessary if we are to thwart the growth of any new tumors.
So there you have it - everything has and will be put on the back burner for the next five weeks as i do what i must, and hopefully get a positive response to the next scan. Even if its not, I doubt i'll be going back on the chemo treadmill, but lets cross that bridge when we come to it.
Trouble is, its a bridge that leads to even more unknowns, and a pretty rough journey.

Spare a thought for Fay as we live through this., Its proving to be bas tough a journey for her as it is for me, and we both need an extra dose of prayer and support as we face this together. We need the peace of knowing what we are doing is not only the right thing for my long term health, but that God is in this with us, walking with us and giving us the wisdom to make the right decisions.
Its scary, its daunting,  its exciting, its a test of faith and our willingness to change. In other words, its life in a nutshell. No one said we'd have all the answers, but thankfully we can put our trust in the One who does.
More to follow...