The end is nigh.

Well, not THAT end. But certainly the end of this current round of chemo, which I'll miss like the proverbial hole in the head. Number 8 (last one)  comes up 28 Dec, which means, needless to say, we wont be going far over Christmas, or anytime soon after. Each round is taking longer and longer to recover from (as I was warned it would). This will be followed by the inevitable scan sometime mid January. which will hopefully give me some good news! In the meantime, we have a Big Family Christmas celebration planned for Christmas Day in the local Boating Club, which means a busy lead-up time for everyone. Hornsnoggle Ferret books are arriving very soon (at last!) so they are keeping me busy, as well as meetings with the Cancer Society, where I hope to negotiate a deal on the books with the CS receiving a percentage as a donation. Then theres the website to finalise - plenty to keep the old boy occupied and off the streets for a while!
Lets take this opportunity of thanking you all for your support and prayers through the year - even in the 'down times' - and theres been a few of those - I've been aware I'm not alone in the battle, and its been a constant souce of encouragement. So have a wonderful and blessed Christmas with your family and friends, and give all the glory, thanks and praise to Him who is the giver and sustainer of Life. God Bless you all.

Dixon's Christmas Newsletter 2011

Number 7 down - one more to go!

What a great feeling - even if i'm not feeling great! Only ONE MORE of these awful chemo blasts to endure, followed by the 'pill regime' with the inevitable side effects, then the scan? Then thats it! by mid Jan I'll know one way or the other if its all been worth it, or if I'll be up for another round, after the 'down-time' they have to allow for, (up to 3-4 months). So hang in there with me, keep praying, and lets see what the Almighty has in store for me!
Busy time coming up - off to the SI tomorrow, driving a re-location Campervan back to Auckland, finishing off a few Hornsnoggle Ferret things for the year, help Fay put he finishing touches to a big Family Christmas we're planning to hold in Browns Bay - Christmas newsletters - yep, its all go. Probably the last blog before Christmas - we'll see how time goes, so have a great one, and remember Him who is the Reason for the Season!

The Beautiful month...

For a variety of reasons. Whats not to enjoy about Christmas? A season of hope, goodwill and celebration, made even more real if you believe in the Reason for the Season! A chance to get together with Family, share the great food, happy memories, many blessings - and for me, celebrate the LAST of the chemo sessions scheduled for 28 Dec - what a way to end the year! I'll be feeling halfway normal again by the end of January, all going well. Also a great opportunity for me to PERSONALLY thank all you guys, the faithful remnant, who have hung in there with me ALL YEAR! Its hard to believe i started this blog back in February, and you've put up with my journey, my anger, pain, treatment regimes, diet and supplement raves, colourful descriptions of the many side effects. Give yourself a standing ovation - you deserve it!
Still things to do before Christmas - letters, whanau celebration to organise, take delivery of the first two Hornsnoggle Ferret books, the inevitable round of Xmas 'do's, even a trip to Christchurch to see family etc,
If you're on facebook, catch me there with abbreviated versions of our journey, if not, we'll see you all early 2012 (inless I get the urge to post another blog pre Xmas!)
Be a blessing to others this Christmas - its the best gift you can give!
Cheers...

On the home run!

Whew! Six down, two to go - its a good feeling. Had the sixth intravenous chemo 'boost' on Wed, and as usual, feeling a bit wonky for a few days after. But still here, still upright, still plenty to give thanks for! Had a great 'This is your Life' dinner (night of the chemo!) for a friend who worked for a client from the agency days, Ziera Shoes, (ex Kumfs Shoes) and this weekend celebrate our 40th wedding Anniversary AND all going to plan, another grandchild from Leanne and Richard! Already a week overdue, so we may strike the double on the one day!
Being kept busy with Hornsnoggle Ferret, books, dolls, and hopefully other merchandise - depends on how friendly our bank manager is to come to the party with venture capital!
Had the chance to talk to other 'cancer sufferers' lately - always a challenge, when their reaction to the news differs so widely, but a great opportunity to give some hope and spread a little positivity into their journey to recovery. Pray for them, as I know you do for me. WIthout it, we have no hope. With it, hope abounds and the healing begins.

same old, same old...

Its hard to believe its been 10 MONTHS since I got life-changing news about my grade 4 cancer. If earlier predictions were to come true, I've effectively got only 8 months of life on this planet. Thanks to a host of reasons - chemo, supplements, diet, prayer, attitude, I've discovered we CAN make a difference - and isn't it a good feeling to prove the medical establishment wrong? The only news for Nov is that lot of guys are growing moustaches - for very good reasons - so if you get the chance, support them in their fundraising efforts to highlight and fund the fight against prostate cancer.
Otherwise, same old, same old - which I guess is good news! Next round of chemo is a week away, after that, only TWO more to go! Roll on 2012 I say!  Ginas birthday today (historic day 11/11/11) and hopefully another grandchild before the day finishes. Well, thats the plan anyway. Remember, I'm on facebook now, so if you want to connect with me there, I'd love to see you.
And as for the up coming elections, remember the old adage - 'Politics is like a babys alimentary canal, putting in as much as posibble at one end, and taking no responsibility for what comes out the other'
Vote wisely!

Blog or facebook - your choice!

After months of putting off the inevitable, I've finally joined the 'facebook' era. Blame Hornsnoggle Ferret - when you have a website, the logical extension is apparently facebook, as this is where most of the 'moderns' connect. So if you find i'm doing fewer blogs, its because I'm devoting that time to keeping up with facebook. You serious blog readers wont be forgotten - I'll continue to give regular updates on my cancer journey, but anything to do with family or 'business', facebook is now the venue.
Another 'chemo' burst on Wed, with the usual after effects slowly kicking in. but with only three more to go, I'm giving it my best shot to finish the full course. Thanks to John for his terrific little book 'Healed from Cancer' showing the remarkable faith journey of a woman who had metastatic liver cancer and was given only weeks to live. Here she is some twenty years later writing about the power of prayer and living out the scriptural promises she reads and claims every day from the bible. Inspiring stuff!
If you've read my book, you'll know my last 'annus horribilis' was 1987, when everthing that could go wrong did. Guess what else happened in in 1987? We won the RWC! And here we are, 24 years later, having another challenging year, and we win the Cup again! Sorry to disappoint you, but I plan to have a much better year in 2015! Carpe Diem, my friends!

2 great results in one week...

Some weeks are tougher than others - the only tough thing about this week has been the waiting! Thankfully, the ABs did the job on Sunday at a game which my bro and I enjoyed as much as any sporting event we've ever been to. Then, after a few very anxious days, the mid term scan results came back today with a really positive outcome - no more new tumors anywhere, and a sizable reduction in the current lymph and lung carcinomas.  FANTASTIC!
All you faithful bloggers, supporters, prayer partners, cafe companions, take a bow - you've proven your faithfulness by sticking beside me for the long haul, and for that I am truly grateful. A real, genuine, bona fide, answer to your prayers, and a wonderful testimony to a Loving God.
Four more to go - no, not four more years (like the Aussies), just four more treatments, and and the end, who knows - more good news, and a final scan showing the cancer has disappeared altogether. Keep the dream alive! Together, we'll make it.

Mid way scan -progress report

Friday is another D-Day, the day of the halfway CT scan. Is the chemo working? Are we making progress? Are the cancerous areas shrinking? Has the spread to the lungs been stopped? Have all the awful side affects over the past 12 weeks been worth it? Will the 'Rena' break up? Will the ABs win their semi? We might not get the answers to all these questions (as much as we would like!) but its good to know Someone knows, and cares, and our future is in His hands. Pray for a miracle (for ALL the above!) and enjoy the week - I know I will be.
Being kept busy with the 'books' and all the learning curves I'm experiencing, plus looking forward  to family calling for the RWC games.
(I havent decided if I'm more nervous about the result of the scan or the AB - Wallaby game on the weekend. All will be revealed - watch this space!)

HALFTIME!

Four down, four to go - I feel like a marathon runner whose reached the halfway point, and is now on the home run - a good feeling! The few days following the 'chemo blast' are not pleasant,but with four great RWCgames in the weekend, I'm sure it will help take my mind of it. Off to the quarters tomorrow night at Eden Park with Glen and Melinda, then the semis next week with brother Lawrence - isnt it nice to have generous family? Hope I can hack the pace.
Had some very good feedback on My Story - might even get a review in the 'Challenge' if I play my cards right.
Received my sample Hornsnoggle Ferret stuffed toy the other day - very cute. Sadly they arrive from China too late for the Christmas trade, even if I place an order immediately, but at least I'll have a couple of the books ready.
Game on - phones off the hook, 4 hours of Rugby Heaven - You'll need to pray doubly hard this week - for my coping with the chemo treatment side affects and for YOUR TEAM to make the semis cut! Go the ABs!

And the Emmy goes to...

It occurred to me that with the great band of supporters and 'prayer buddies' I've got, I've never really thanked those I owe so much to. Thats because it includes pretty well ALL of you, and by naming folk, i'm bound to leave someone out, then I'd feel bad. So if you're reading this, consider yourself THANKED and also blessed - you'll never know how much I appreciate your loyal support, encouragement and prayer - and even the occasional gift basket!
To break my own rules, I just have to single out three people who have been a huge help in putting Hornsnoggle Ferret together, and making the book(s) etc a reality - yes, they will happen. Have faith,. David for his great illustrations, Terry for putting it all together for the printers, and Jean for working on the Hornsnoggle website. All three have had the patience of Job, putting up with constant changes, tweaks, delays, and a guy who squeezes blood out of a stone (me). Without them the project would have never got off the ground, so a big hand for the these three great people. 
No more chemo now rtill next week - fantastic! I fell almost human again! Then, the moment of truth - the mid treatment scan. Now that will be interesting! A miracle would be nice - I'll settle for a huge reduction in the size of the cancer, wherever it is, and no new growths anywhere. Hows that for a specific prayer request?

Counting the days...

I wish I had something exciting to tell you, something that lifts your spirits and makes you shout Hallelujah! I guess the RWC is already filling that need, particularly some of the great games we've been treated to. (just dont mention the Wallabies - we dont want to offend anyone!) Truth is, every time I have the chemo-blast it makes me feel just that much worse. I've been told by good authority thats pretty standard, so I just have to suck it up. Thank heaven for all the supplements I've got, and the boxes of pills to help counteract the worst of the side effects. On the positive side, three treatments down, five to go. Almost halfway there!
The first 'Hornsnoggle Ferret'  book is painfully slow being released - I've learnt the world of publishing is a world where nothing is rushed, everything takes time, so I just have to be patient. Thankfully 'My Story' is finished and due for delivery this week, so at least thats one down. For those who want a copy I'll do a bulk email, so you just have to respond to that. If you DONT get the email, let me know and I'll reserve you a copy.
So to finish on a positive note, ONLY 91 shoppping days to Christmas!
There, that got the adrenalin flowing, didnt it? Stay strong.

Hornsnoggle has arrived!

Forget about the 'chemo journey' for now - I'm sure you've all had your fill of that. Dont worry about the ABs (plenty of time for that in the next few weeks). I'll give you a full report of the Opening Ceremony and first game this Friday, (yes, I'm going, thank you Elgin!). And if anyone is remotely interested in the election in Nov (yawn), put that on the back burner too.
The really BIG news is that Hornsnoggle Ferret has arrived! Hornsnoggle is the 'hero' in my new Childrens book, first one due out very soon, with more to follow. Theres even a stuffed toy and kiddies T shirt coming out to keep Hornsnoggle company. (Thats marketing - speak for adding value and maximising merchandising opportunities). David has done a great job with the illustrations, and a Hornsnoggle website is being developed to inform the world of the latest Childrens phenomena. Move over Dora the Explorer!
Ah well, dreams are free. But Hornsnoggle Ferret has been an ongoing project to keep me active and keep my mind off the you-know-what. Special discounts for book and merchandise bulk orders!
My own 'story' will also be printed next week - written for the family, but if anyone is interested, orders gladly accepetd! Most autobiographies are a real turn-off, so dont worry, I won't take your lack of enthusiasm personally.
Enough self promotion - still six rounds of the chemotherapy to go, things to do, people to support and encourage, family to enjoy, and a wonderful God to thank and praise. Life is good - keep the faith.

Round two - six to go

Finished the second round of intravenous chemo last Wed - now waiting for the almost inevitable side effects to kick in. So far its only been the 'tingly fingers and feet' which calls for warm gloves and warm socks - if thats all I get, I wont mind at all! Any food I have I can't taste, so that makes eating a bit of a waste of time as well! The ongoing chemo-pill dosage has been reduced slightly, which should further reduce the negative reactions. But hey, life is good. I've been asked to do a couple of media plans for ad clients ex my old company, and surprised myself that I still can - its like riding a bike, it all comes back to you.
Still a few more frustrating tweaks to finish on My Story, (my life story) and on my first childrens book - both have been delayed by a couple of weeks, so my patience is being tested. Had some great 'remember the days' visits from friends from way back, which has been exciting and encouraging. Friends are now turning 65 - that helps put things into perspective - I still feel young!
How blessed I am to have such a great company of friends, family and rellies to support me in my journey - now all we need is for the ABs to start winning again! Roll on the RWC!

life keeps going...

For a few days after the initial intraveneous Chemo I was left wondering 'what was all the fuss about?'. Then it hit - and I knew what it was all about! I wont give you all the gory details - you might be eating your dinner - but for a few days in week two being lost on the Canning in a sandstorm would have been heaven in comparison. The medical team at Mercy were very understanding, and i was immediately taken off the (very potent) chemo pills, and recovery was swift. I now feel almost human again! So I'm in for round two again next week, and hopefully the regime after the intraveneous chemo will be modified to lessen the almost-guaranteed, awful side effects.
Gina and the grandies have been staying while Mike is back in Melbourne for a couple of weeks, I've now finished my (life story) book, as well as my first childrens book, and am getting a sample 'soft toy' made up, hopefully to coincide with the book launch (signed edition, anyone?). So life is not dull, plenty to keep me occupied, plenty to live for. I've even had the opportunity to share my Canning Journey with a few groups, so I can relive the memories again, Great stuff!
So carpe diem, and full steam ahead!

'people want to know'

These wise words, from none less than my son Glen, has told me I should continue to keep folk informed of my 'cancer journey'. Another more blunt comment but from a person I respect told me flat out - 'you have responsibilities'. So with that in mind, I'll keep the blog going. And try and keep it interesting! As mentioned, the six month journey has begun, intravenous every 3 weeks, with 'daily pill chemo'  inbetween, scheduled to finish at the end of Jan 2012, - sounds a along time away!
Side effects can be daunting, but there are ways of combating those, and I have great help from some wonderful people in that regard. As also mentioned previously, I have some interesting projects on the go. which will hopefully keep my mind occupied. If youre reading this, I'm always aware that you may also have 'stuff' going on in your life, and sometimes YOU could do with a listening ear or a word of comfort or wisdom. We are all facing our own battles, and we all need each other, so if you want to unload onto me, I'd like to think I could be here for you as much as you good people have been here for me. A load shared is a much lighter burdern! I'll be careful not to bore you, or preach good 'food' habits to you, I promise!
Love you all - chat soon

So endeth the blog - for now

Today was the day - I have had the portocath inserted, which is better described as the 'chest plug' for the next 8 sessions of intravenous chemo, (starting tomorrow) in addition to the pill-chemo schedule which I will be taking 2 weeks on, one week off. So the regime begins, from now till approx end of January. Continuing the blog over this period is a little unnecssary, not to mention self-focused. There are many people out there equally as or more deserving of your time, attention, prayers and thoughts, so while you are certainly free to post comments as often as you like, I wont be doing any blogs unless something startling happens, like a miracle cure, an unforeseen mishap, or the ABs winning the World Cup.
Or if I get talked into doing another Canning road trip!
In between treatments I'll be doing what you all do - getting on with life, enjoying my family, keeping as active as possible, as well as writing my childrens books. Please dont misinterpret this as meaning I'm not grateful for all your support - the fact I've made it this far is due to a large extent to your love, concern and prayers, which I still need and appreciate more than you will ever know.
And I know you're all on the journey with me!
God Bless you all

Big questions

Sometimes we question why stuff happens, or why it doesn't happen. Here I was, feeling great, all set for a positive report from the oncologist, only to be told my scans showed a deteriorating situation, further growths in the lungs and lymph nodes. And chemo should not be put off any longer! So after much soul searching, heartache and prayer, that is the course we have decided to go down, supported by my 'supplement regime' which will, we hope, help keep my immunity system strong and protect me from the worst ravages of all the side effects of the chemo.  I'm scheduled to start the 6 month course very soon - possibly within the next 2 weeks, a mix of tablets and intravenous chemo - all designed not to cure (they admitted a total cure was not possible) but simply extend my life by a few months, maybe a year. So I now have a 2 year window!
I get the feeling I'm in this for the long haul - miracles might happen, but not as I pictured them, and certainly not in the time-frame I imagined. So I'll hang on to the memories of the Canning trip, and press on with all the projects I have in the pipeline, and continue to live one day at a time - every day a new beginning. Thanks for being there for me - dont give up, theres a silver lining somewhere. Its just a little hard to see at the moment.

Back to reality - part 2

Reality really kicks in this afternoon when i have my first appointment since the Big Adventure - my oncologist is sure to schedule new scans, and following that, a new course of intense chemo lasting up to 6 months! Whats that I hear? The sound of amazement as he discovers that I dont need the continued treatment, that the tumours have shrunk and the cancer is in remission? Well, anything is possible, so I continue to live in hope. And we know, dont we, that with God, everything is possible!
So I'm keeping myself busy compiling my Canning Journal and photos, finishing off My Story (my lifes story) and working on a range of childrens books that all going well will be out for Christmas, or even earlier. The Melbourne family is now back in Auckland safe and sound, and Leanne and Richard are expecting no 2 sometime in November, just in time for our 40th Anniversary. Does it get any better than that? There is so much to be thankful for. More to come - be encouraged, life is too good not to celebrate.

Back to the real world...

Hard to believe its been over a month since i left NZ, and no blogs in all that time! Needless to say a lot has happened, my life experience has been stretched, and i feel blessed to have had one of the most incredible months of my life. No room here to give you all the details, but for the masochists out there who need some night time reading i DID keep a journal, so it you want to read all about it let me know by way of a comment and i'll either post it on the blog OR send you an email attachment. Flew out of Darwin on Thurs am, picked up at the Brisbane airport at 5am by Fay (hows that for wifely commitment?) and now spending the next week showering off the red dirt, doing a mountain of washing and generally having some r and r in Main Beach before heading back home on the 15th. New treatment to start after meetings and scans scheduled for the 20th and thereafter. Fantastic to have the opportunity to meet up with Gina, Mike and the grandkids who are also in the Gold Coast for a conference before heading back to NZ. They hardly recognised the Outback Man, but it was a great catch-up and cuddle time!
The Canning has given me a whole new perspective on Outback Australia, and the history of this remarkable land. As one of our group commented "God did a good job when He made this place".
Jim deserves kudos for putting up with me for almost 5 weeks, but we do have some great stories to share and reflect over in the months to come. Thanks all for your prayers and patience- I'll try and be a bit more vigilant in keeping you in the loop in the weeks to come . 

Genostics - the new name in Cancer treatment

We wont bore you with the detail, but I've just had a Genostics test done, which basically is a blood test that gets flown to Greece for analysis (no kidding!)  and comes back with pages of highly technical 'med-speak' that lets you know what chemo, if any you should be having. Very cool! My tests have just come back, and show a very good result considering I was grade 4 when I was diagnosed, which in laymans terms means the cancer was very advanced. So I'm confident when I come back from my Oz jaunt in the outback I have the info I need to make a good decision on any further treament.
Its been great this week to have had  the opportunity to spend time with some of the wider family, a few old friends, and some not not so old, all who have been a great help and support in my 'cancer journey'. We even had the PM John Key come and speak to our Mens  Group at Church last week - now that was a blast!
My book is almost done (thanks again to Terry for all his hard work) and my first Childrens Book should be ready for print by the time I get back. Move over Dr Seuss!
Only a couple of days now to countdown time, and we hit Perth, then the outback. Blog time will be nil when we loose communications - but I'll do my best to keep you in the loop. Keep the faith, keep praying, and together we'll see this through. In my eyes, you're all winners!

Move over Priscilla - here come the Kiwis!

Its all go! Yes, the wonderfully supportive chemo doctor has given his blessing to the CSR trip in June, so its full steam ahead! Many thanks to all the faithful 'prayer warriors' out there, and the others who have guided my diet and 'supplementary food path' - the scan and xray showed little if any growth in the size of the lung tumors, and the chemo specialist was confident I could delay any ongoing treatment until I came back. We're now down to the final planning stages of the Big Trek, where for over two weeks our only contact in the outback will be by sat. phone - very expensive, so it will only be used in emergencies. Fay would appreciate your calls and 'invites' during this time, although I know she has a lot of her own plans in the pipeline!
If I return feeling as good as I do right now, then I am blessed indeed.
If I return singing 'Waltzing Matilda' then you'll know to send me back!

To Oz or not to Oz?

That is THE question. Today I have scans and Chemo doctors appointment  to find out if I'm fit to go to Oz for my 4WD advernture with Jim and the team. If the tumors in the lung are significantly bigger, I wont be going. If there has been little or no growth, I'm good to go, albeit there is a risk factor. But then, isn't life one big risk?
Apologies for the lack of 'blog activity' - the week in Melbourne with the family was full on, but a great experience none the less. Visited the magnificent Tutankhamun exhibition at the Melbourne Museum, and a very nice Waterfront restuarant courtesy Mike and Gina. Aus seafood cuisine at its very best!
My book is in its final stages - hope to have it pretty well finished before I leave. We even have a couple of Childrens Books on the go, also in the 'illustration' stages. These (hopefully) will be our new income source, depending of course on future cancer prognosis and treatment. Much work to be done yet!
Pray for the best outcome this avo when I see the specialist,and any future treatment - chemo, vitamin C, or whatever I decide. The new diet, supplements and fitness regime are keeping me in good nick - I almost feel normal again!
In the meantime, google the Canning Stock Route, Wiluna and Halls Creek. These names will mean nothing to you, but they are the starting and finishing points of our Big Trek.(excluding the travelling from Perth and to Darwin before and after the CSR) Longer than Cape Reinga to the Bluff, just not quite as green!
More to come....

Decisions, decisions...

Next week - off to Melbourne for a few days to catch up with Gina, Mike and the grandkids. This week - decisions on a very expensive test to help determine the best chemo treatment to take when I start in July. Results may show a specific drug, or drugs, or even no treatment. Or have alternative treatment. Plenty of prayer and wisdom needed here to make sure I make the right decision. No medical insurance cover for this one!
Great weekend as we joined the blue-rinse brigade at the Andre Rieu concert on Friday, complete with surprise appearance from the Seekers! Remember them? Almost needed walking frames to get on stage, but Judy Durhams voice was as powerful and magical as ever. And the Viennese orchestra was fantastic. Many thanks to Bruce and Ruth for the tickets - courtesy of the Cancer Society! Vey appropriate.
Beautiful Mothers Day on Sunday as the 'family' took us out to Western Springs for lunch and a walk in the sunshine. Great reminder to look after our mums, daughters and wives, who have enriched our lives so much.

And 'My Story' is just about  finished! Once Terry has put all the pics in place (thanks mate) all systems are go! This is the autobiography you've all been hanging out for, advance orders accepted, signed copies available! (how much more PR sales drivel can you handle?).
Have a great week!

Tornados and 4WDs...

Just when you thought it was safe to go shopping, the tornado strikes! Fay and I both happened to be in the Albany Mall at the time the tornade struck - neither aware that the other was there. Pretty freaky stuff! I left the car with bits of iron, trees and debris falling out of the sky on cars all over the carpark and rushed to one of the stores for cover- thankfully I chose a spot away from the centre of the action (quite by accident) but it was all over so quickly. We ran up and took a few shots on our cellphones, unaware of the injuries and fatality that had already occurred. The scene was pretty horrific - debris and roofing iron everywhere, ripped up trees, cars smashed and on their roofs, people rushing around frantically trying to find loved ones. Thankfully the fire service, police etc were on the scene very quickly, and quickly cordoned off the area. Little did we know then  the path of destruction the tornado would cause as it tore through other housing areas on the Shore.
Our thoughts and prayers are with the family of the construction worker who was killed, and the others who suffered serious injury - looking at the scene it was a miracle more weren't killed.

Other News! my next round of chemo was planned for late May/early June - a 6 month 'mother of all chemo courses' which is bound to leave me shattered. HOWEVER, I have prevailed upon the very wise and understanding chemotherapist to delay it for 6 weeks or so, and he doesnt see it being a problem. Reason? We have been planning for almost a year now to do a 4WD trip with good friend Jim and a few mates through the Canning Stock Route, Perth to Darwin, the 'mother of all off-road tracks' in WA. (thats two 'mothers' in one paragraph!) in June. Crazy? perhaps, but I've never been a safety first person, and if I dont do it now,I may never get to do it. I'll be ultra well prepared, well, as much as one can be in the Outback, and I know you'll all be praying for the 'crazy man'. I'll promise to behave, and bring you back a boomerang or stuffed dingo. Family and friends will be looking after Fay while I'm gone.
More news coming - keep in touch!

Another bit of 'rough road' coming up...

The results of the latest CT scan was a 'good news, bad news' story. Good news - the tumors being targeted have shrunk, and are quite a bit smaller. Bad news - the cancer is confirmed as an 'aggressive cancer' and has spread to the lungs. These are still tiny growths, but its a bit of a worry that they are there at all. So a new round of heavy-duty chemo treatment is planned, timing to be confirmed. Those who have been there have told me I'm in this for the long haul - i hope they're right! So as part of the journey, consider this a patch of rough road with a few pot-holes - but there's smooth road ahead!
 Just returned from a fleeting visit to Chch to catch up with travelling friends and family - if they can repair this city, restoring me to full health should be no problem! Right now I'm sussing out alternative treaments to complement my new diet and health supplement regime and help the healing process.
Will and Kate are done and dusted, Breakers rule, and the Blues are the No 1 NZ rugby team. All is right with the world!

CT Scan day come and gone....

Well, that didnt take long! Less than 4 weeks and I was in for another CT Scan this morning. Results wont be known for a day or two, but I'll keep you in the loop. Like waiting for school exam results, only I won't want to fail this one! Your encouragement, prayer and support has been amazing and so appreciated - keep it up!
Helpful hint to prevent cancer - and believe me, prevention beats the cure everytime. Google WebMD, and on the column on the left, click on 'cancer'. Two very helpful heading in the list are Cancer Fighting Foods, which gives 20 hints on foods to eat/avoid to give yourself the best chance of avoiding cancer. Most of the foods I've already bored you silly with over the past 2-3 months, but its worth a reminder Not over the top, not extreme, just very basic and sensible advise which would benefit everbody - complete with colour pics. Plus, a heading 15 Symptoms Men Ignore - every guy should read this!  Definitely no place for 'Kiwi macho - I dont need to go to the doctor' attitude when it comes to checking out unusual or niggly symptoms. Believe me when I tell you, it could save your life.
You can subscribe to the WebMD newsletter - no cost, and definitely worthwhile.
Off to Earthquake City on Friday to catch up with family and friends. Enjoy the Breakers v Taipans/ Blues vs Highlanders/ and some little wedding in London (William somebody?) - I hope your house has three TVs - there will be a test on all three 'events' in the next blog!

Its Friday, but Sundays coming...

I've been neglecting you - so sorry! Truth is being in limbo is no fun, but it does give me a chance to finish up GST returns, end of year accounts and all those other boring things that are necessary. The supplements and 'good food regime' are keeping me going, and I even have a personal trainer coming once a week to help restore the bod to some of its former glory (minus the weight-loss!) Thanks Glen!. Thats Glen the friend, not Glen the son.
This weekend its Easter - we know what Friday stands for. Why do they call it Good? Pain, anguish, betrayal, loss, suffering. Most of us have been there - some of us are still living in the 'Friday' Take heart - the story of Easter is that there is a Sunday, a day of redemption, victory, renewed hope, new beginnings. Its not just another story - its THE story. Its what gives our faith wheels, makes it the Greatest Story Ever Told, and gives our lives purpose and significance. I've had my fill of Fridays - like you, I'm hanging out for Sunday, when the glory of the resurrection puts everything we do, everything we are into perspective. So have a great Easter, go easy on the Chocolate Bunnies (sugar, remember?) and thank God for life. And if your life seems stuck in the Friday, heres the good news - Sundays coming!

The waiting game...

Waiting is never easy. Whatever we want we want now, and waiting for it doesnt build the expectation, it just makes us more impatient and more frustrated. Anyway, thats me. And with the last two weeks out of the way since the 'treatment', we're now in waiting mode. Waiting for the radiation and chemo to finish their work (yes, its the gift that keeps on giving, even when you stop getting it) and the bod to restore itself to some sort of normality. And after 3-4 weeks - another further round of scans to see what further treatment is required, almost certainly more (higher dose) chemo, and possible surgery... all for a few more months? Who knows? In the meantime I am embarking on another course of treament from an alternative specialist, highly recommended, with the hope that whatever she can do will negate the need for going back to the traditional treatment. These costs arent covered by any health cover, and they dont come cheap, but ifs it helps the cause, it will be worth it.
The cab has gone, so now we're on the lookout for some casual or part time work - this is the first week I've felt up to it since the treatment stopped, so thats a good sign! Stay with me during this 'limbo' stage, dont give up! I'm not! Now for a nice fish meal courtesy Phil the Fisherman - well done Phil, and thanks!

Lets help the cause

Being a 'cancer victim' focuses you all the more on the need for public awareness and support for any kind of research or treament on cancer. April 4-10 is the week where leukemia is being highlighted (simply put, leukemia is a blood cancer, where  abnormal white blood cells are made in the bone marrow tissue that forms blood) This is of interest to all cancer sufferers, because radiation and chemotherapy treatment make a person much more susceptible to leukemia. The other main cause is smoking, so it you smoke, you're on the short list for getting leukemia. Yes, you can help! One of of my most faithful bloggers, my nephew Brad, is taking part in the 'shave for a cure' campaign, and is losing his beautful hair today(!), to support me and other cancer sufferers. Check out Brads page on www.shaveforacure.co.nz/ view event profile3922. You'll see Brad is a good looking bloke - he has his Uncles genes in this respect, not his fathers - and we'd be thrilled if you could support him in his quest. He might even post a photo of the 'shaved' Brad for you to chuckle over. Any donation is appreciated - look at his list of supporters, and join them. Its easy-just follow the links and directions. As well as spending time on your knees with me, you can now put your hand in your pocket for Brad.
Still sore, tired and grumpy, but slowly on the improve. Love hearing from you folks. Together we're the Tight 50!

6 weeks - its all over rover!

Oh the relief! 30 days of tripping in to Mercy for 7am treatments, getting zapped, pummelled, prodded, tut-tutted over, and ending up feeling like a POW who has escaped from Changi Prison. And they say the worst effects kick in for the two weeks AFTER the treatment. Aint that something to look forward to! Cancer must be the only condition in the world where you go in for treatment feeling great and come out feeling lousy. Some day I'll figutre out how that works. Great big kudos to Fay who has had to put up with me during all this - (I'm a bloke, so when I suffer, she suffers). Big thanks to Glens in-laws, Maarten and Anne, who took us out boating last weekend -  a fabulous day off Kawau Is. Tomorrow we hope to go to Whangamata for the Annual Beach Hop, a fun weekend of classic, hot-rod and vintage cars, rock n'roll in the streets - great times for the over 50s.
As for the future? A few weeks reprieve, then more scans, tests and plans for stage 2 of the treatment - not for the faint-hearted! Now officially unemployed, having sold the cab franchise, so new fields and opportunities beckon. Am I up for it? Absolutely! Keep journeying with me -I still need you on the team. Stage one is now a memory - stage two is about to begin...

Appreciation time...

I've never taken the time out to thanks those who have not only been praying for me, but also keeping in touch, dropping in for a visit, sending emails, txts, cards, whatever. I cant tell you how much i appreciate your support. You represent a wide spectrum of friends, from my early youth and school all the way through to current work, church and community. Well done, all of you  - take a bow. Its been a tough week, and this week (hopefully the last in this series of treatment) will be even tougher. Dont forget Fay and the family in your prayers, - they're the ones who see me in the darkest times, when I dont always keep it together, and it impacts on them.
I was encouraged by the words of a recent friend/visitor - we've journeyed through some tough times together - who reminded me of the verse in Corinthians - 'My grace is sufficient for you - my power is made perfect in your weakness' Hold on to that - you may be needing the same encouragement sooner than you think. No-ones bullet proof!  Dont give up - keep praying, keep loving, keep growing.

how to blog ...

A little birdie told me some of you were having trouble posting a comment - and i thought i was the only IT-challenged baby-boomer!  A few helpful hints - Go to the blog, open the comments, scroll down till you get to a white box which says 'post a comment'. Write your much appreciated blog (for some reason ladies find this much easier to do than guys,) Now for the really hard part! A box may come up 'choose your profile'. Scroll down till you get to the NAME URL option. Click on that, write your name (thats all you need) - you may have to fill in one of those silly word puzzles, then publish your blog. You may even get the option to preview it, so you can check it first.
Apologies to those of you under 40 who already knew all this - just remember some of the readers are still using twink to make changes on the computer screen! Talk soon - having a hot salt bath before I hit the sack.

Don't be a stranger

Thats Week 4 over, 13 days to go - beginning to sound like a broken record! Thanks to the supplement and nutritional advice I've had from so many people,I feel OK - But then, this is a first for me, so how is one meant to feel? Only real side affects have been fatigue, a bit of nausea, and a bit of soreness in areas I'll let you figure out for yourself. Clue - think of two famous old songs, one by Jerry Lee Lewis and one by Johnny Cash  (this is a guys only competition!).
You'd be amazed at the people I meet who read the blog, but never comment, phone, text, email, call, because they think I'm too busy, or they dont know what to say! Hey, a blog is a two way conversation, so any message, however you send it is ALWAYS WELCOME! This can be a lonely journey, so its always good to get messages of support, encouragement, any suggestions, whatever, even a 'hi, thinking of you'. Stretch this out to other friends you may have. If they're a great friend, tell them how much you appreciate their friendship - dont just take it for granted. Friends are not mind readers.
Fays arm is out of plaster and on the mend, so my 'chief care-giver' is back into it - shes been a rock in a rough couple of months, bless her. I'm still driving, but not for long - watch this space. And dont give up on the Miracle!

The Month of the Miracle

We've heard a lot about miracles lately, particularly with the events of Chch so indelibly etched into our minds. So while we busy ourselves praying for a miracle, consider the miracles that have already happened. The number of Cantabrians who escaped injury or death by being only a few metres away from scenes of destruction. 25 guys attending a prayer meeting for Muzza at 6am on a Monday morning! Brad giving up coffee for the month of March. The timely advice and help from people like Susan, Thomas, Tricia, Jim, regarding supplements and diet. People picking up on health tips and making changes in their eating habits. People praying who might not have prayed for a long time. (thank you God!). Contacts with friends, here and overseas, who I've not heard from for many years, And, perhaps the biggest miracle of all, 1.4 million Aucklanders supporting the Crusaders in a Super 15 rugby game!
Week three of the radiation and chemo is now done and dusted - feeling good some days, like a train wreck the others. But hey, like the Cantabs, we've made it this far, and by Gods grace we'll keep going. Be vigilant, persevere, dont stop praying. We're in this for the long haul, and we will all be better people for the experience. Now, about those miracles....

145 and counting...

At 12.50 on Tues 22 Feb we were reminded that our own problems and trials, while they may seem daunting are, in the big picture, suddenly not that big a deal after all. Everyone, to a greater or lesser degree, was touched by the Chch Earthquake, major news even on the international scene. Members of our own family visited us over the weekend, as we celebrated, in elegant, country garden style, a landmark birthday for Fay, only to return to an event which would change their lives forever. We have had our hearts broken as we have witnessed horrific scenes and stories of personal tragedy that have ripped a city apart and caused untold grief. On a personal level, I took a grandmother from the airport to the Auckland Hospital, where her daughter in law and granddaughter were in a critical condition as a result of the quake. On the way she recieved a call, telling her to please hurry, as her daughter in law was not expected to live, and her son was beside himself with grief. As we arrived, her in tears and me almost so, we hugged and I promised to pray for her, just a people have been praying for me. One very small incident in the big picture of the week, but one which had a profound impact on both our lives.
So lets not waste time trying to find answers for why certain things happen, rather lets resolve to be part of the solution, and put ourselves in a place where God can use us to bring comfort and solace to others. I have so valued all your good advice, support and prayer, now its time to spread the love around - those in Chch could certainly do with some.
Yep, week 2 has gone, feeling OK apart from a few changes to 'the system' and odd days of nausea, but nothing to cause concern. Yet. So keep doing what you're doing - and keep believing in miracles. Many families in Chch could do with one right now!

One week down, five to go.

whew! First week over and out - Glad thats out of the way. Apart from a little nausea, I'm feeling pretty good, thanks to all you wonderful people! Heres a little ditty to brighten your day...

I dreamt the other night of food I really loved
big meat pies, fish and chips,and all that yummy stuff
Alas, you're just a memory, as I munch my daily bread
free from gluten, free from taste, with tofu as a spread

Good bye Mr T-Bone steak, looks like we'll never be
culinary companions, you're just a distant memory.
Banana cakes and bikkies, sausage rolls and moro bars
you're safe from my indulgences, so we'll say au revoir.

Ive learnt to quaff the carrot juice, lemongrass and herbal tea
To mochas and iced coffee, I'll say 'get thee behind me'
Burger King, KFC and Big Macs are out the door
I'll have to go cold turkey when I pass these fast-food  stores

Burnt snarlers on the barbie, plates of pancakes pav and cream
all these glorious smells and tastes I'll sample only in my dreams
No more pinots, speights or reds, or cokes of any kind
just organic apple juice, with some almonds on the side.

So as you sit down to your yummy, spicy, meaty, tasty dinner
Think of my steamed brocolli, and watch as I grow thinner
I know I'll gradually adapt, so bear with me my friend.
If it keeps me standing upright, it will be worth it in the end!

D-Day come and gone

What a way to spend Valentines Day - getting zapped by radiation! Plus, to add to the indignity, they needed to make a resin-type 'impression' of my butt! To assist in the 'accuracy of the treatment', I was told. Yeah. right! I think these nurses didn't get flowers from their husbands and wanted to take it out on me! Anyway, all went to plan. Next thing I'm told I have a couple of 'strange looking spots on the lung' and although probably of no consequence, they still want further scans just to be sure. That means delaying the chemo (radiation still continues) for a week until those scans are given the 'all clear'. As if I needed any more drama in my life! Fays broken arm is in new bright-pink plaster, very trendy, and will be for another 4 weeks, so thank heaven for wonderful children, friends who live close by and can help out. Trish sent a wonderful scripture 'poem' of a Fathers love for His Children - I'll send a copy to anyone who wants it. Keep praying for patience, resilience, proper food choices, grace, and ultimately, an 'all clear'  And keep the faith!

Glutathione - my friend!

Thanks Thomas! the course of Glutathione (google it for more info) should help lessen the side effects of the radiation and chemo - thats good news! Its amazing the people God brings into yout life at just the right time - I am so thankful for them all. A few foody things i've learnt along the way - lay off the sugar in EVERY form - that includes coke and soft drinks, and even have fewer fruit drinks! Guys, if you need a milk substitute, DONT use soy milk - its loaded with estrogen, and it will knock the testosterone levels for a six. (not good!) Slightly cooked tomatoes are actually more beneficial than raw tomatoes -although both are good. Almonds and walnuts are the best nuts as a snack, better than cashews. Dont eat too many peanuts - they are a legume, not a nut! And most guys are lacking such elements as selenium, magnesium - we need these to prevent disease. And dont burn those sausages on the barbie - the burnt bits are definitely carcogenic! (this is not intended as medical advice - check things out for yourself) Keep praying, not just for me, but for your family, your friends, yourself. We all need each other. You guys rock!

Countdown time....

Only a week  before the treatment starts. Radiation every day for 6 weeks at Mercy Hospital, with concurrent doses of chemo for the same period. I've put myself on a real strict diet to assist the healing, and also to counteract the awful side effects that come with the treatment. You know the drill - raw fruit, lightly steamed veges, certain nuts(!) gluten free everything, plenty of good fish, lemongrass tea, doses of vitamin C - if i've left anything else, i'm sure someone will tell me! A lot of good friends have been particularly helpful on the food and natural remedy front. Basically, everything I enjoy, I cant have. Quite simple really. Amazing time this pm with some of our old church friends. These guys know how to put the power into prayer, thats for real. Having a day out tomorrow sailing in the gulf with Tim - thanks buddy. Oh, and Fay broke her arm - talk about an attention seeker! Big thanks to all those you have been so supportive - you know who you are. Special Merit of Distinction to Gina who looked after us all so well on her all too brief stay. Keep praying - and keep the faith!

the journey continues...

Another day, another blood test, another consultation - this after the MRI scan, which is another claustropobia inducing experience, this time with sound effects that range from a faulty smoke alarm to a muted siren to a deranged dalek on the planet Zog calling the mothership. In brief, the outcome is a 6 week daily course of radiation, with allied chemo. pills (two a day for that period), both of which could give side effects that you really dont want to know about. Then at the end of that period, a total reassessment, and almost certainly a continued course of chemo, delivered with a needle.Oh joy! theres a lot more detail i wont bore you with - but lets cut to the chase. How many of you have said "if theres anything we can do" YES! I see your hand! pray that at the end of this course Murray not only doesnt look like an escapee from the local hospice, but that the cancer is TOTALLY GONE! hows that for being specific? The wonderful thing is, we have a God who can accomplish whateverwe ask in his name, so what are you waiting for? Get to it! I'll be following the advise of many knowledgable and good friends and making massive changes to my diet to help the healing process, which is, for those of you who know me, the ultimate sacrifice. Talk soon. Keep the faith!

how did this all start?

Jan 13 - visited GP for a regular check and a few niggles. after a poke around and thorough check, expressed dismay and booked me in for an urgent appt with Oncology specialist. Well, that was a load of laughs - not! He then confrimed what the GP has suspected, mainly an aggressive cancer in the rectal area and lymph nodes in the groin, all very persoanl! From there, things moved quickly. susequent appts at Mercy and diagnostic clinics, enough blood tests to make my arm feel like a pin cushion (this on a guy who just loathes needles)  and more scans than a supermarker checkout. CT scans, where they pump you full of iodine to highlight the affected areas, a PET scan where they inject you with radiation so you 'glow in the dark' to highlight and confirm said areas, and another pre-radiotherpy scan where any shred of human dighity you may have retained goes out the window. On this one you have to have the bladder full, but not so full that you want to pee in the middle of the process - very tricky for a 63 year old bladder that has seen better days.
But wait, theres more! An ECG to make sure your heart is up for the treament they're going to be dishing out, and another MRI scan this Tuesday. Subsequent meetings withe the head of the gastroenterology dept at Mercy to discuss the 5-6 month course of chemotherapy, and the radiotherapy dept where they have timetabled a 6 week course of radiation beginning Feb 14 - it'll be some St Valentines day for Muzza! We'd love HEAVY prayer support prior to this ominous procedure! Naturally, we're looking at huge diet changes to help the healing process - had some great advice on this front from some wonderful friends. Watch this space!

Hi all - we've been overwhelmed with emails, letters, cards, texts, calls, and good wishes from so many people, we know we will miss someone out if we try to answer them all personally. Besides, time is something we don't have a lot of these days. So we've created this blog to keep you updated on our journey as we face this major hurdle in our lives. Its been a challenging few weeks, and will continue to be so for the next few months, to say the least. Feel free to leave a comment - we'll be needing all the encouragement and prayer you can muster. You're all important to us, you have all played a part in our journey so far, and for that we thank God. Keep the faith!