What happens on May 28?
well, that will probably be the date of the next scan. Very quick, i know, but the oncologist is very keen that I start on the next round of chemo very soon after that. The last week has seen me doing a LOT of research, more than normally, so the bad news for him is that I probably WONT be going ahead with any more chemo!
The new chemo, Irinotecan, is even more potent than the last round, Oxipalatin, and heavens knows that was bad enough. The side effects of this one are almost guaranteed - nausea, ulcers, hair loss, diorrehea (for which i will almost certainly need hospitalisation every few days in the two weekly cycle.) But even worse, and the decider for me, is that the immune system gets hammered, almost to the point where the white blood cells can no longer do their job of protecting the body against disease or any infection. So i ask myself, whats the point of having a few months longer (so they say,) but having a totally crap quality of life, when i could be living comparatively normally, (possibly for a shorter time) save for the lingering effects of the previous chemo!
So in the course of my reasearch, and due to the timely email help from Joanne Chee (thanks Joanne) i am embarking on my own 'healing regime' - courtesy of Marcus Freudenmann, through his remarkable book and DVD, called Cancer is Curable Now! This means stepping up my diet quality -it has slipped a bit over the last few months- doing some intentional exercise, and maintaining and increasing my supplement regime, not a cheap exercise, but very necessary if we are to thwart the growth of any new tumors.
So there you have it - everything has and will be put on the back burner for the next five weeks as i do what i must, and hopefully get a positive response to the next scan. Even if its not, I doubt i'll be going back on the chemo treadmill, but lets cross that bridge when we come to it.
Trouble is, its a bridge that leads to even more unknowns, and a pretty rough journey.
Spare a thought for Fay as we live through this., Its proving to be bas tough a journey for her as it is for me, and we both need an extra dose of prayer and support as we face this together. We need the peace of knowing what we are doing is not only the right thing for my long term health, but that God is in this with us, walking with us and giving us the wisdom to make the right decisions.
Its scary, its daunting, its exciting, its a test of faith and our willingness to change. In other words, its life in a nutshell. No one said we'd have all the answers, but thankfully we can put our trust in the One who does.
More to follow...
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
6 WEEKS - and then?
Its hard to believe I've not posted anything since March - a lot has happened on the 'family front' since. The last scan was one of these 'good news bad news' scenarios, good news being that most of the tumors have continued to decrease in size, if only marginally. The bad news is that one in the lung (of all places) has increased quite significantly, and they see this as a precursor that the others will stop their decrease and begin to increase in size again, possibly rapidly. How they determine this i'll never know, but i guess they've seen a lot more case histories than i have.
The specialist was keen to start the next round of chemo as soon as possible. We decided to have a 6 week break (with his reluctant blessing) as the next round means a lot stronger dose, with side effects that are horrendous, and almost certainly inevitable. You might be just about to have your lunch(?) so i wont give you the graphic details, other than to say i would be spending a lot more time in hospital while they counteract the debilitataing side effects, and keep my immune system from collapsing. Even then, they admit this is only buying me time, the tumors will inevitably grow back again, into a more resisitant strain, calling for a stronger dose (brand?) of chemo, followed by even more disastrous side effects.
So there you have it - in six weeks we will have to make the decision. I think in my heart i already have, but i am going to be giving the diet and supplements a big 'fine-tune' and see if we can surprise the hell out of them come the next scan. Forgive me if i'm not my usual positive self, but the consequences looking forward are, in human terms, pretty bleak.
We'll continue to live one day at a time, we'll continue to live by faith, we'll continue to pray and seek spiritual guidance and wisdom, we'll continue to share our lives as openly as possible and enjoy the company of friends and family, without whom our lives would be so much poorer. I have to keep reminding myself of the grade 4 diagnosis in Jan last year, where I was told 12 to 18 months was all I should expect. I look back at the journey so far, and its been quite a ride, a huge learning curve in all sorts of areas, (from cancer treaments to childrens book publishing!) as well as a wonderful time of bonding with a growing and supportive family. Not forgetting the opportunities I've had to serve in all sorts of areas at church and the wider community.
So hang in there with me. We're not giving up, we'll continue to fight the good fight, and you're a crucial part of it! Keep praying for a miracle, for wisdom and discernment, for Fay and the family as they process all this new information, and for everyone who is going through tough personal times and life threatening health issues.
Isn't it great to know, and have the assurance that we are not alone?
The specialist was keen to start the next round of chemo as soon as possible. We decided to have a 6 week break (with his reluctant blessing) as the next round means a lot stronger dose, with side effects that are horrendous, and almost certainly inevitable. You might be just about to have your lunch(?) so i wont give you the graphic details, other than to say i would be spending a lot more time in hospital while they counteract the debilitataing side effects, and keep my immune system from collapsing. Even then, they admit this is only buying me time, the tumors will inevitably grow back again, into a more resisitant strain, calling for a stronger dose (brand?) of chemo, followed by even more disastrous side effects.
So there you have it - in six weeks we will have to make the decision. I think in my heart i already have, but i am going to be giving the diet and supplements a big 'fine-tune' and see if we can surprise the hell out of them come the next scan. Forgive me if i'm not my usual positive self, but the consequences looking forward are, in human terms, pretty bleak.
We'll continue to live one day at a time, we'll continue to live by faith, we'll continue to pray and seek spiritual guidance and wisdom, we'll continue to share our lives as openly as possible and enjoy the company of friends and family, without whom our lives would be so much poorer. I have to keep reminding myself of the grade 4 diagnosis in Jan last year, where I was told 12 to 18 months was all I should expect. I look back at the journey so far, and its been quite a ride, a huge learning curve in all sorts of areas, (from cancer treaments to childrens book publishing!) as well as a wonderful time of bonding with a growing and supportive family. Not forgetting the opportunities I've had to serve in all sorts of areas at church and the wider community.
So hang in there with me. We're not giving up, we'll continue to fight the good fight, and you're a crucial part of it! Keep praying for a miracle, for wisdom and discernment, for Fay and the family as they process all this new information, and for everyone who is going through tough personal times and life threatening health issues.
Isn't it great to know, and have the assurance that we are not alone?
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