What happens on May 28?
well, that will probably be the date of the next scan. Very quick, i know, but the oncologist is very keen that I start on the next round of chemo very soon after that. The last week has seen me doing a LOT of research, more than normally, so the bad news for him is that I probably WONT be going ahead with any more chemo!
The new chemo, Irinotecan, is even more potent than the last round, Oxipalatin, and heavens knows that was bad enough. The side effects of this one are almost guaranteed - nausea, ulcers, hair loss, diorrehea (for which i will almost certainly need hospitalisation every few days in the two weekly cycle.) But even worse, and the decider for me, is that the immune system gets hammered, almost to the point where the white blood cells can no longer do their job of protecting the body against disease or any infection. So i ask myself, whats the point of having a few months longer (so they say,) but having a totally crap quality of life, when i could be living comparatively normally, (possibly for a shorter time) save for the lingering effects of the previous chemo!
So in the course of my reasearch, and due to the timely email help from Joanne Chee (thanks Joanne) i am embarking on my own 'healing regime' - courtesy of Marcus Freudenmann, through his remarkable book and DVD, called Cancer is Curable Now! This means stepping up my diet quality -it has slipped a bit over the last few months- doing some intentional exercise, and maintaining and increasing my supplement regime, not a cheap exercise, but very necessary if we are to thwart the growth of any new tumors.
So there you have it - everything has and will be put on the back burner for the next five weeks as i do what i must, and hopefully get a positive response to the next scan. Even if its not, I doubt i'll be going back on the chemo treadmill, but lets cross that bridge when we come to it.
Trouble is, its a bridge that leads to even more unknowns, and a pretty rough journey.
Spare a thought for Fay as we live through this., Its proving to be bas tough a journey for her as it is for me, and we both need an extra dose of prayer and support as we face this together. We need the peace of knowing what we are doing is not only the right thing for my long term health, but that God is in this with us, walking with us and giving us the wisdom to make the right decisions.
Its scary, its daunting, its exciting, its a test of faith and our willingness to change. In other words, its life in a nutshell. No one said we'd have all the answers, but thankfully we can put our trust in the One who does.
More to follow...
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
6 WEEKS - and then?
Its hard to believe I've not posted anything since March - a lot has happened on the 'family front' since. The last scan was one of these 'good news bad news' scenarios, good news being that most of the tumors have continued to decrease in size, if only marginally. The bad news is that one in the lung (of all places) has increased quite significantly, and they see this as a precursor that the others will stop their decrease and begin to increase in size again, possibly rapidly. How they determine this i'll never know, but i guess they've seen a lot more case histories than i have.
The specialist was keen to start the next round of chemo as soon as possible. We decided to have a 6 week break (with his reluctant blessing) as the next round means a lot stronger dose, with side effects that are horrendous, and almost certainly inevitable. You might be just about to have your lunch(?) so i wont give you the graphic details, other than to say i would be spending a lot more time in hospital while they counteract the debilitataing side effects, and keep my immune system from collapsing. Even then, they admit this is only buying me time, the tumors will inevitably grow back again, into a more resisitant strain, calling for a stronger dose (brand?) of chemo, followed by even more disastrous side effects.
So there you have it - in six weeks we will have to make the decision. I think in my heart i already have, but i am going to be giving the diet and supplements a big 'fine-tune' and see if we can surprise the hell out of them come the next scan. Forgive me if i'm not my usual positive self, but the consequences looking forward are, in human terms, pretty bleak.
We'll continue to live one day at a time, we'll continue to live by faith, we'll continue to pray and seek spiritual guidance and wisdom, we'll continue to share our lives as openly as possible and enjoy the company of friends and family, without whom our lives would be so much poorer. I have to keep reminding myself of the grade 4 diagnosis in Jan last year, where I was told 12 to 18 months was all I should expect. I look back at the journey so far, and its been quite a ride, a huge learning curve in all sorts of areas, (from cancer treaments to childrens book publishing!) as well as a wonderful time of bonding with a growing and supportive family. Not forgetting the opportunities I've had to serve in all sorts of areas at church and the wider community.
So hang in there with me. We're not giving up, we'll continue to fight the good fight, and you're a crucial part of it! Keep praying for a miracle, for wisdom and discernment, for Fay and the family as they process all this new information, and for everyone who is going through tough personal times and life threatening health issues.
Isn't it great to know, and have the assurance that we are not alone?
The specialist was keen to start the next round of chemo as soon as possible. We decided to have a 6 week break (with his reluctant blessing) as the next round means a lot stronger dose, with side effects that are horrendous, and almost certainly inevitable. You might be just about to have your lunch(?) so i wont give you the graphic details, other than to say i would be spending a lot more time in hospital while they counteract the debilitataing side effects, and keep my immune system from collapsing. Even then, they admit this is only buying me time, the tumors will inevitably grow back again, into a more resisitant strain, calling for a stronger dose (brand?) of chemo, followed by even more disastrous side effects.
So there you have it - in six weeks we will have to make the decision. I think in my heart i already have, but i am going to be giving the diet and supplements a big 'fine-tune' and see if we can surprise the hell out of them come the next scan. Forgive me if i'm not my usual positive self, but the consequences looking forward are, in human terms, pretty bleak.
We'll continue to live one day at a time, we'll continue to live by faith, we'll continue to pray and seek spiritual guidance and wisdom, we'll continue to share our lives as openly as possible and enjoy the company of friends and family, without whom our lives would be so much poorer. I have to keep reminding myself of the grade 4 diagnosis in Jan last year, where I was told 12 to 18 months was all I should expect. I look back at the journey so far, and its been quite a ride, a huge learning curve in all sorts of areas, (from cancer treaments to childrens book publishing!) as well as a wonderful time of bonding with a growing and supportive family. Not forgetting the opportunities I've had to serve in all sorts of areas at church and the wider community.
So hang in there with me. We're not giving up, we'll continue to fight the good fight, and you're a crucial part of it! Keep praying for a miracle, for wisdom and discernment, for Fay and the family as they process all this new information, and for everyone who is going through tough personal times and life threatening health issues.
Isn't it great to know, and have the assurance that we are not alone?
Saturday, March 3, 2012
the ides of March
what do Cantabrians have in common with a long-term cancer sufferer? Answer -they both slip off the radar real quick! Its been over a year now since Christchurtch had its devastating shake, with a lot more following, and its been over a year since i got the life-changing news about the Big C. whether we like it or not, time dulls the memories of any event, and while many Cantabrians are still picking up the pieces and trying hard to move on, the rest of the country HAS moved on. Other major news events have come and gone, and we forget the hardships that are still being felt by so many people in Chch. So with cancer - i still get the perfunctory call every so often, and even an email or txt. But its hard not to get the feeling that i shouldn't have hung around for this long - was it just a false alam in the first place, and oh, it cant have been all that serious old chap. I mean, you're still looking good, you're still functioning - i'll definitety move you lower down the pecking order in my prayer list.
First i apologise for not keeping the blog up to date - i'll definitely try harder on this front. Facebook has taken over as the main 'communication tool' for the news etc. Second - its BECAUSE of all your diligent and consistent prayer i am feeling as good as i am - that and the 'new diet', the supplement regime, the can-do attitude, so please - dont give up on me. Look on me as a work in porogress, and THANK GOD that he is answering your prayer. It he wasnt, i wouldn't be feeling as good as i am.
Still not out of the woods, still suffering from the after effects of the chemo, which i have been told could take weeks, months, or longer! to finally dissapate out of the system. sore, numb hands, feet and mouth probably the worst of he effects, as well as constant fatigue (not helped by really old, as i was reminded this morning at church by my class of boys!) So take a big breath, and keep up the good work, and spare a thought and the occasional prayer that there is no big flare up of new tumors in the system (it is a frequent occurence apparently with my kind ond stage of cancer) and the tumors keep shrinking and DONT find a new foothold where they can regenerate. at the same time, pray for those Cantabs who are still not out of the woods, still suffering financially and emotionally, and are looking at a bleak year ahead.
Life goes on - and on and on. - May it be so for all of us, and may we make the most of the days we have and the opportunties we are given. You're all a blessing to someone - whether you know it or not.
First i apologise for not keeping the blog up to date - i'll definitely try harder on this front. Facebook has taken over as the main 'communication tool' for the news etc. Second - its BECAUSE of all your diligent and consistent prayer i am feeling as good as i am - that and the 'new diet', the supplement regime, the can-do attitude, so please - dont give up on me. Look on me as a work in porogress, and THANK GOD that he is answering your prayer. It he wasnt, i wouldn't be feeling as good as i am.
Still not out of the woods, still suffering from the after effects of the chemo, which i have been told could take weeks, months, or longer! to finally dissapate out of the system. sore, numb hands, feet and mouth probably the worst of he effects, as well as constant fatigue (not helped by really old, as i was reminded this morning at church by my class of boys!) So take a big breath, and keep up the good work, and spare a thought and the occasional prayer that there is no big flare up of new tumors in the system (it is a frequent occurence apparently with my kind ond stage of cancer) and the tumors keep shrinking and DONT find a new foothold where they can regenerate. at the same time, pray for those Cantabs who are still not out of the woods, still suffering financially and emotionally, and are looking at a bleak year ahead.
Life goes on - and on and on. - May it be so for all of us, and may we make the most of the days we have and the opportunties we are given. You're all a blessing to someone - whether you know it or not.
Friday, January 27, 2012
One year down...
Blame facebook, blame my laziness, blame anything you like - no excuses for not keeping the blog up to date. 15 Jan marked the one year anniversary of my 'cancer news', when I was given 12-18 months and advised to 'get my affairs in order' so its been quite a year. Everything has changed, but then, you already know that. The GOOD NEWS is that the latest scan (results came back Friday -yesterday) shows a significant reduction in tumor size in all tumors, in the lymph nodes, lungs and liver. Someting to be thankful for and praise God for! Still not out of the woods by any means, but it shows the combo of chemo, supplements, improved diet and consistent and prayerful support from people like you are having the desired effect. So thank you all!
Back on the chemo pill regime, no intravenous (thankfully) for a few months, and more tests and scan in another 2-3 months. Life goes on. I'll keep fighting, we'll all keep praying, and who knows? We just might lick this thing after all. Have a great weekend!
Back on the chemo pill regime, no intravenous (thankfully) for a few months, and more tests and scan in another 2-3 months. Life goes on. I'll keep fighting, we'll all keep praying, and who knows? We just might lick this thing after all. Have a great weekend!
Saturday, December 17, 2011
The end is nigh.
Well, not THAT end. But certainly the end of this current round of chemo, which I'll miss like the proverbial hole in the head. Number 8 (last one) comes up 28 Dec, which means, needless to say, we wont be going far over Christmas, or anytime soon after. Each round is taking longer and longer to recover from (as I was warned it would). This will be followed by the inevitable scan sometime mid January. which will hopefully give me some good news! In the meantime, we have a Big Family Christmas celebration planned for Christmas Day in the local Boating Club, which means a busy lead-up time for everyone. Hornsnoggle Ferret books are arriving very soon (at last!) so they are keeping me busy, as well as meetings with the Cancer Society, where I hope to negotiate a deal on the books with the CS receiving a percentage as a donation. Then theres the website to finalise - plenty to keep the old boy occupied and off the streets for a while!
Lets take this opportunity of thanking you all for your support and prayers through the year - even in the 'down times' - and theres been a few of those - I've been aware I'm not alone in the battle, and its been a constant souce of encouragement. So have a wonderful and blessed Christmas with your family and friends, and give all the glory, thanks and praise to Him who is the giver and sustainer of Life. God Bless you all.
Lets take this opportunity of thanking you all for your support and prayers through the year - even in the 'down times' - and theres been a few of those - I've been aware I'm not alone in the battle, and its been a constant souce of encouragement. So have a wonderful and blessed Christmas with your family and friends, and give all the glory, thanks and praise to Him who is the giver and sustainer of Life. God Bless you all.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Number 7 down - one more to go!
What a great feeling - even if i'm not feeling great! Only ONE MORE of these awful chemo blasts to endure, followed by the 'pill regime' with the inevitable side effects, then the scan? Then thats it! by mid Jan I'll know one way or the other if its all been worth it, or if I'll be up for another round, after the 'down-time' they have to allow for, (up to 3-4 months). So hang in there with me, keep praying, and lets see what the Almighty has in store for me!
Busy time coming up - off to the SI tomorrow, driving a re-location Campervan back to Auckland, finishing off a few Hornsnoggle Ferret things for the year, help Fay put he finishing touches to a big Family Christmas we're planning to hold in Browns Bay - Christmas newsletters - yep, its all go. Probably the last blog before Christmas - we'll see how time goes, so have a great one, and remember Him who is the Reason for the Season!
Busy time coming up - off to the SI tomorrow, driving a re-location Campervan back to Auckland, finishing off a few Hornsnoggle Ferret things for the year, help Fay put he finishing touches to a big Family Christmas we're planning to hold in Browns Bay - Christmas newsletters - yep, its all go. Probably the last blog before Christmas - we'll see how time goes, so have a great one, and remember Him who is the Reason for the Season!
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