Seems as though I'm not the only ex-Adman to keep a blog. I was privileged to meet up again with Linds Redding, a good Pom I met back in the ad-days at various functions, then again, quite by chance, when i had him as a passenger in my Corporate Cab. It came as something of a shock to learn that he passed away last Oct of, you guessed it, cancer. He was only 52. They published an article he wrote shortly before he died in the latest issue of Marketing magazine (which for my sins I still get).
Quite a telling piece. He finishes by looking back in hindsight, and commenting 'but what I didn't do, with the benefit of perspective, is anything of any lasting importance.'
Like all admen, he probably enhanced a few companies bottom lines, and made a few wealthy men even wealthier, but discovered too late there's more too life than work, awards, peer plaudits and creating an advertising masterpiece that is tomorrows fish and chip paper.
Leaving a legacy of lasting importance is what everyone dreams about, but depressingly few achieve. Some do it through their vocation, but not many. Some busy themselves in service clubs, sports clubs, politics, charities and accountability groups, with all the right motives, hoping to make the world a better place.
And almost everyone uses their family as a yardstick, knowing that for better or worse they are being judged on how their kids turn out, and whether their relationships pass the community approval test.
All worthy goals in themselves. But if there's one thing I've learnt through the school of hard knocks, its that you need to have a purpose for living, something greater than yourself. That often means getting out of your comfort zone, doing something that scares you a little, something you may not get any reward or recognition for. People, even friends, might even think you're a bit weird. After all, non conformity is only cool when it focuses on you, not on someone else, or some Big Picture that most people cant see or grasp.
I guess if you think this world is all there is, and there is nothing beyond the grave, then anything of lasting importance is not all that big a deal. I mean, whats the point, right? But if you view this life as just a precursor, a waiting room for eternal life to come, with a Loving God who will 'make all things new' then suddenly what we do in this life takes on a whole new meaning. Our lives fast forward to the 'then' rather than the 'now', and its living in that mode that gives our lives purpose and relevance.
I hope Linds found that out before his untimely demise. For some of us, the 'then' is looming quicker than we might like!
Next round of radiation starts on Tuesday - not sure yet how many, or how far apart, but I'll keep you posted. The journey continues - its great to have you walking with me, and others, as we press on. Lets all keep our hearts and minds fixed on the Big Picture!
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Dixon's Christmas Newsletter 2012
Some years are better than others, and this year has been particularly challenging, for reasons you are all well aware of. But through all the pain and the heartache and joy (yes, there have been times of joy) I am humbled, and very blessed to have had the unstinting support and love of Fay, family and a wide circle of friends who have stood by me and shown the real meaning of 'walking in my shoes'
.So thanks to you all, and may you know the peace of God in your lives as you look forward to a great Christmas with your families, and to a 2013 full of promise and opportunity.
Life is precious -don't waste a day of it!
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Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Watch out...
The King wanted only the best for his loyal subjects, but even He knew He could not keep them safe all the time. The Dark Prince had another agenda - to destroy, humiliate, and ulimately get people to leave the Kingdom so they would be under his power.
'Look at this Loyal Subject' he said to the King 'Why wouldn't he worship you and call you Lord? You protect him, show favour to him and his family, and despite his cancer, continue to bless him.
Give me free reign with him for a while, then we will see how strong his faith is, and how loyal he stays to you'.
Beacuse the Dark Prince still had power and ruled a large kingdom he kept enslaved for his own purposes, the King reluctantly agreed. But He knew His presence would always be with the loyal subject.
The Dark Prince didnt waste any time. He knew the after effects of the chemo the loyal subject had been suffering from were meant to lessen over time, but he ensured they didnt. In fact, he made sure they got more pronounced and more annoying with every passing day.
He was frustrated that the loyal subject was still taking his supplements and sticking to a relatively healthy diet. I was so much easier if people abused themselves with unhealty eating. He had to work on this.
Ah, whats this? The loyal subject had his portocath removed! That means he thinks he needs no more intravenous chemotherapy, or is prepared to use alternative cures if the need arose. Great! Lets enlarge the tumors in the lungs, not much, but enough to put doubt into his mind. Beautifully ironic, smiled the Dark Prince, considering the loyal subject had never smoked in his life~!
That pain in his side - he thinks its only muscular, caused by too much time on the rowing machine, but it could be so much more. Maybe the cancer can apread to the bone, and cause further distress. Oh, this is so much fun, particularlty as the King has chosen not to interfere! That will call for a bone scan, another inconvenience, another hospital visit, another few weeks of waiting and wondering.
Now for really sensitive part - those warts and growths in the groin. The radiation he had last year has meant they can't easily be operated on - theres not enough 'good skin' down there and skin transplants will be needed. Unless, of course he decides to go for the 'ointment' option, and we all know how long that takes, and how painful it is when it reacts to the other tender skin. Great, chuckled the Dark Prince - every guys worst nightmare!
The Dark Prince sensed the loyal subject no longer had the Kings favour - he was getting more depressed, more stressed, more concerned for his and his families well-being. Lets see, hes always prided himself on his fitness, although that is something of a joke, considering what he's been through the last 2 years. Ah, I know - a poison knee! A really painful one, one that calls for yet another hospital visit, massive does of IV antibiotics and painkillers, and causes the leg to swell and look gross. One that makes exercise impossible for weeks, maybe months. And so it came to pass.
Now that his immune system is severly compromised, thought the Dark Prince, its only fitting he gets a painful - and visual - reminder of what can happen when disease takes its toll. I'll give him a nasty case of shingles, all down one side of his body, and just for good measure, cause the same virus to spread to his mouth, with a case of full-blown mouth ulcers.
He left the loyal subject in a state of despair and bewilderment, and visited the King. When he told the King what he had done, the King told him he already knew, as the loyal subject had been in touch with him every day, letting him know what happened, and pleading with the King not to leave him, crying out for his healing.
The Dark Prince was not happy! 'Why would he continue to ask for your mercy when he knows you gave me free reign to do whatever I wanted with him, save taking his life?'
'Because' said the King 'He knows your power is limited to what I allow, and he knows that ultimately I want the best for him, whereas you only want his destruction. You may destroy his body, but his spirtit is always mine, and always will be,'
The King, with tears in his eyes, approached the loyal subject, and reached out his hand. The loyal subject, beaten, despairing and broken reached out his hand, not understanding, but believing. The King had not left him after all. And never will.
'Look at this Loyal Subject' he said to the King 'Why wouldn't he worship you and call you Lord? You protect him, show favour to him and his family, and despite his cancer, continue to bless him.
Give me free reign with him for a while, then we will see how strong his faith is, and how loyal he stays to you'.
Beacuse the Dark Prince still had power and ruled a large kingdom he kept enslaved for his own purposes, the King reluctantly agreed. But He knew His presence would always be with the loyal subject.
The Dark Prince didnt waste any time. He knew the after effects of the chemo the loyal subject had been suffering from were meant to lessen over time, but he ensured they didnt. In fact, he made sure they got more pronounced and more annoying with every passing day.
He was frustrated that the loyal subject was still taking his supplements and sticking to a relatively healthy diet. I was so much easier if people abused themselves with unhealty eating. He had to work on this.
Ah, whats this? The loyal subject had his portocath removed! That means he thinks he needs no more intravenous chemotherapy, or is prepared to use alternative cures if the need arose. Great! Lets enlarge the tumors in the lungs, not much, but enough to put doubt into his mind. Beautifully ironic, smiled the Dark Prince, considering the loyal subject had never smoked in his life~!
That pain in his side - he thinks its only muscular, caused by too much time on the rowing machine, but it could be so much more. Maybe the cancer can apread to the bone, and cause further distress. Oh, this is so much fun, particularlty as the King has chosen not to interfere! That will call for a bone scan, another inconvenience, another hospital visit, another few weeks of waiting and wondering.
Now for really sensitive part - those warts and growths in the groin. The radiation he had last year has meant they can't easily be operated on - theres not enough 'good skin' down there and skin transplants will be needed. Unless, of course he decides to go for the 'ointment' option, and we all know how long that takes, and how painful it is when it reacts to the other tender skin. Great, chuckled the Dark Prince - every guys worst nightmare!
The Dark Prince sensed the loyal subject no longer had the Kings favour - he was getting more depressed, more stressed, more concerned for his and his families well-being. Lets see, hes always prided himself on his fitness, although that is something of a joke, considering what he's been through the last 2 years. Ah, I know - a poison knee! A really painful one, one that calls for yet another hospital visit, massive does of IV antibiotics and painkillers, and causes the leg to swell and look gross. One that makes exercise impossible for weeks, maybe months. And so it came to pass.
Now that his immune system is severly compromised, thought the Dark Prince, its only fitting he gets a painful - and visual - reminder of what can happen when disease takes its toll. I'll give him a nasty case of shingles, all down one side of his body, and just for good measure, cause the same virus to spread to his mouth, with a case of full-blown mouth ulcers.
He left the loyal subject in a state of despair and bewilderment, and visited the King. When he told the King what he had done, the King told him he already knew, as the loyal subject had been in touch with him every day, letting him know what happened, and pleading with the King not to leave him, crying out for his healing.
The Dark Prince was not happy! 'Why would he continue to ask for your mercy when he knows you gave me free reign to do whatever I wanted with him, save taking his life?'
'Because' said the King 'He knows your power is limited to what I allow, and he knows that ultimately I want the best for him, whereas you only want his destruction. You may destroy his body, but his spirtit is always mine, and always will be,'
The King, with tears in his eyes, approached the loyal subject, and reached out his hand. The loyal subject, beaten, despairing and broken reached out his hand, not understanding, but believing. The King had not left him after all. And never will.
Monday, November 26, 2012
One small step...
After 17 months of carrying it around, 10 months after it as last used, i've finally done it!
Done what? Had my port-o cath removed. Thats the 'plug' that they surgically implant to make it easier to feed the intravenous chemo into. That doesnt mean no more chemo, ever. But it does mean that I'm highly unlikely to have it, given the hassle (not to mention the expense) of having it put back in again.
So thats another step along the journey, one small step perhaps, but significant when you know the battle is still being fought, and is far from over.
Other 'complications' have settled down, although I am due to go in for an xray or scan on my side ribs which have been causing me some dscomfort. Sooner rather than later I hope, so I can tick that box as well.
Still feeling OK, but VERY drowsy after the mini surgery this morning, so its a taking it easy day today.
Thanks, as always for your continued prayer and support - you'll never really know how much I appreciate it.
And, on a positive note, as I sit in this cafe looking over a piece of North Shore paradise, with a cloudless blue sky and stunning beach in the background, we know we are very blessed. As always.
Done what? Had my port-o cath removed. Thats the 'plug' that they surgically implant to make it easier to feed the intravenous chemo into. That doesnt mean no more chemo, ever. But it does mean that I'm highly unlikely to have it, given the hassle (not to mention the expense) of having it put back in again.
So thats another step along the journey, one small step perhaps, but significant when you know the battle is still being fought, and is far from over.
Other 'complications' have settled down, although I am due to go in for an xray or scan on my side ribs which have been causing me some dscomfort. Sooner rather than later I hope, so I can tick that box as well.
Still feeling OK, but VERY drowsy after the mini surgery this morning, so its a taking it easy day today.
Thanks, as always for your continued prayer and support - you'll never really know how much I appreciate it.
And, on a positive note, as I sit in this cafe looking over a piece of North Shore paradise, with a cloudless blue sky and stunning beach in the background, we know we are very blessed. As always.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Moving on...
Xrays are funny things, arent they? My last one (last week) showed that one of the tumors in the lungs had increased in size, following on from the last increase, and yet I feel ok. No noticeable cough, no shortness of breath, no huffing and puffing when I walk or climb stairs. So the oncologist is prepared to 'watch and wait' and see what happens. As am I!
Next week i get my portocath removed. Thats the 'plug' they put in your chest to pump the chemo into, and it hasnt been used since Jan this year! So after nearly 17 months, its coming out. The oncologist, I suspect, would rather it stay in - just in case I need more chemo down the track.
Well, thats not going to happen. Most of my ongoing side effects are chemo related, and even though I don't regret having it, enough is enough, and I'd rather enjoy what time I have left than suffer through more insidious (and guaranteed!) side effects for the sake of a few more years - perhaps.
So thats it, lets see what happend from here. The 'new improved' diet and the wonderful (very expensive) supplements are doing their job, and we'll keep on keeping on.
Since having been diagnosed with cancer, i've been blessed to be the poppa of two more grandchildren (6 now!) so every day is a bonus.
Every day is filled with new promises, new possibilitiues and the chance to make a difference - so lets live them to the max!
Next week i get my portocath removed. Thats the 'plug' they put in your chest to pump the chemo into, and it hasnt been used since Jan this year! So after nearly 17 months, its coming out. The oncologist, I suspect, would rather it stay in - just in case I need more chemo down the track.
Well, thats not going to happen. Most of my ongoing side effects are chemo related, and even though I don't regret having it, enough is enough, and I'd rather enjoy what time I have left than suffer through more insidious (and guaranteed!) side effects for the sake of a few more years - perhaps.
So thats it, lets see what happend from here. The 'new improved' diet and the wonderful (very expensive) supplements are doing their job, and we'll keep on keeping on.
Since having been diagnosed with cancer, i've been blessed to be the poppa of two more grandchildren (6 now!) so every day is a bonus.
Every day is filled with new promises, new possibilitiues and the chance to make a difference - so lets live them to the max!
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
No surgery...yet?
I really wasnt looking forward to this one. A visit to a knife-happy surgeon who thought he should remove the chemo-induced growths in unmentionable places of my deliacte anatomy.
Just when I thoiught I had claimed a bit of dignity back, the 'pre surgery ' procedure just reinforced that cancer patients, no matter who they are, are stripped of any dignity at all. The discomfort was there tro remind us that its not over till its over, as they say.
after a few Hmmms and Ahhhs, which seemed to take forever. he (thank goodness it was a he!) gave me the options.Surgery is possible, but the radiation of last year has left the surrounding tissue pretty well irrepairable, and it may take months of repeat visits for skin grafts, and removing fresh growths (they cant guarantee trhey'll get them all!).
the other alternative is using a very powerful medication, which stings like crazy, works in most cases, and is not funded by Pharmac, and its horrendously expensive!
He's exporing avenues where funding MIGHT apply, and Ihe seems to think I have a good chance at it, but no guarantees!
So there we go - 4 months application of stuff i'm going to have to be a contortionist to apply, and guaranteed pain at every application (which he said, grinning, that you do get used to. Thanks for nothing!
So it looks asthough i'll be doing a lot more standing, lot less sitting from here on in!
No one said the journey would be easy, or short, but despite all the downsides, I'm not walking it alone.
That continues to give me hope. And hope is what helps us face the future, with al the possibilities and challenges that very new day brings. Great, huh?
Just when I thoiught I had claimed a bit of dignity back, the 'pre surgery ' procedure just reinforced that cancer patients, no matter who they are, are stripped of any dignity at all. The discomfort was there tro remind us that its not over till its over, as they say.
after a few Hmmms and Ahhhs, which seemed to take forever. he (thank goodness it was a he!) gave me the options.Surgery is possible, but the radiation of last year has left the surrounding tissue pretty well irrepairable, and it may take months of repeat visits for skin grafts, and removing fresh growths (they cant guarantee trhey'll get them all!).
the other alternative is using a very powerful medication, which stings like crazy, works in most cases, and is not funded by Pharmac, and its horrendously expensive!
He's exporing avenues where funding MIGHT apply, and Ihe seems to think I have a good chance at it, but no guarantees!
So there we go - 4 months application of stuff i'm going to have to be a contortionist to apply, and guaranteed pain at every application (which he said, grinning, that you do get used to. Thanks for nothing!
So it looks asthough i'll be doing a lot more standing, lot less sitting from here on in!
No one said the journey would be easy, or short, but despite all the downsides, I'm not walking it alone.
That continues to give me hope. And hope is what helps us face the future, with al the possibilities and challenges that very new day brings. Great, huh?
Sunday, October 7, 2012
A different kind of cancer
You don't know Max. I've been visiting Max for nearly a year now. Once a month, sometimes more often, certainly in the past few weeks. Max contacted us - he was about to be paroled from Paremoremo, and he was looking for someone, ideally from a church. to connect with to help him when he 'left the pen'. You see, he didn't want to go back to his old haunts, get in with the old crowd, because he knew that would only end one way - back to prison. He didn't want that.
So I called in to see him, a number of times. Went to the inmates 'family days' and witnessed the sad sight of the dysfunctional trying to help the criminal. Went to the parole hearings, where overworked and often disinterested judges ticked the boxes, or, in one case, were downright hostile. But most of all, I listened to Max's story. Depressingly familiar. Son of a low socio family in heartland NZ, alcoholic father who was rarely there, and when he was, made life hell for the family. A mum who drifted from man to man, all of them leeches who certainly didn't want her kids around. Max dropped out of school, got in with the wrong crowd (surprise, surprise) and became a victim of the most common, most available, socially acceptable drug - alcohol.
For 8 years, from the age of 19, he was in and out out prison for a variety of low level convictions. Burglary, car conversion, receiving - you name it. Then one night, after a bender and totally drunk, he sexually assaulted a young girl. It was admittedly low-level, but in the eyes of the law, serious enough for a 4 year sentence.
During his time in prison, Max had time to relfect on his life, and, with the help of some excellent counsellors
made some hard calls. He was going to give up drinking (for good), he was not going back to his 'old crowd' and he desperately wanted a second chance to redeem himself and become in his words, someone who 'earned respect, man'.
So he made a brave call. He contacted a church in the area, Our church. I picked it up by default, and began to visit him. What a combo! A senior, middle class white guy who seen most of his best days (and making the most of the days he has!) and a nervous 30 year old going on 19, severely lacking in social skills, yet yearning for someone to reach out and help. I was struck with his positive attitude, his naive enthusiasm, and his willingness to let others into his life who could make a positive contribution. He showed hidden talents - his building skill and home mechanics were well above average, and he was breaking out of his skin to get a job, work hard and make an honest days living.
Max was paroled in early August. Hes now living in the city, close to every temptation you could possible imagine. His parole officer has already changed 3 times - they're typically overworked and only interested in ticking the boxes (or as Max would say, covering their butts). Max has had visits, and has been to visit, members of the family, but is aware of the gulf that now exits between his old life, and what he wants his life to be. We're trying hard to find him a new place to live, find him a job, integrate him with people who care, rather than those who will take advantage of him, and lead him back into the comfort of what he was familiar with. Hes even had the courage to go to a local city church, where he really enjoyed the music and 'felt good' - hes quite a dab hand on the guitar as well! But very few folk talked to him, or made him feel welcome.
All he wants is people to give him a hand up, not a hand out. Guys who will give him a call, take him out for a meal, a coffee, a chat. Maybe a drive around the city. Some advice on budgetting, planning for the future. Guys he can depend on. There are no brownie points here, no gold stars, no thanks from the authorities. Indeed, people may even wonder what on earth you're doing. helping a low-life like that.
Its called second chances, and everyone deserves one.
Even Max. Especially Max.
Churches are great at mission statements, prayer meetings and worship. But when it comes to walking the walk, sometimes we're seriously found wanting. Things that extend us, take us out of our comfort zone, call for a commitment of our time (and money) we dismiss and, like the Levite, cross to the other side of the road. Its not our business!
Well, actually it is. Matthew 25, v35-40 reminds us of that. I'd love your help.And Max would REALLY love your friendship. You don't need a counselling or theological degree. Just a heart, and the ability to listen. And guess what? You'll be blessed as well, knowing youre making a difference.
(Max is not his real name - I've change it to preserve his privacy.)
So I called in to see him, a number of times. Went to the inmates 'family days' and witnessed the sad sight of the dysfunctional trying to help the criminal. Went to the parole hearings, where overworked and often disinterested judges ticked the boxes, or, in one case, were downright hostile. But most of all, I listened to Max's story. Depressingly familiar. Son of a low socio family in heartland NZ, alcoholic father who was rarely there, and when he was, made life hell for the family. A mum who drifted from man to man, all of them leeches who certainly didn't want her kids around. Max dropped out of school, got in with the wrong crowd (surprise, surprise) and became a victim of the most common, most available, socially acceptable drug - alcohol.
For 8 years, from the age of 19, he was in and out out prison for a variety of low level convictions. Burglary, car conversion, receiving - you name it. Then one night, after a bender and totally drunk, he sexually assaulted a young girl. It was admittedly low-level, but in the eyes of the law, serious enough for a 4 year sentence.
During his time in prison, Max had time to relfect on his life, and, with the help of some excellent counsellors
made some hard calls. He was going to give up drinking (for good), he was not going back to his 'old crowd' and he desperately wanted a second chance to redeem himself and become in his words, someone who 'earned respect, man'.
So he made a brave call. He contacted a church in the area, Our church. I picked it up by default, and began to visit him. What a combo! A senior, middle class white guy who seen most of his best days (and making the most of the days he has!) and a nervous 30 year old going on 19, severely lacking in social skills, yet yearning for someone to reach out and help. I was struck with his positive attitude, his naive enthusiasm, and his willingness to let others into his life who could make a positive contribution. He showed hidden talents - his building skill and home mechanics were well above average, and he was breaking out of his skin to get a job, work hard and make an honest days living.
Max was paroled in early August. Hes now living in the city, close to every temptation you could possible imagine. His parole officer has already changed 3 times - they're typically overworked and only interested in ticking the boxes (or as Max would say, covering their butts). Max has had visits, and has been to visit, members of the family, but is aware of the gulf that now exits between his old life, and what he wants his life to be. We're trying hard to find him a new place to live, find him a job, integrate him with people who care, rather than those who will take advantage of him, and lead him back into the comfort of what he was familiar with. Hes even had the courage to go to a local city church, where he really enjoyed the music and 'felt good' - hes quite a dab hand on the guitar as well! But very few folk talked to him, or made him feel welcome.
All he wants is people to give him a hand up, not a hand out. Guys who will give him a call, take him out for a meal, a coffee, a chat. Maybe a drive around the city. Some advice on budgetting, planning for the future. Guys he can depend on. There are no brownie points here, no gold stars, no thanks from the authorities. Indeed, people may even wonder what on earth you're doing. helping a low-life like that.
Its called second chances, and everyone deserves one.
Even Max. Especially Max.
Churches are great at mission statements, prayer meetings and worship. But when it comes to walking the walk, sometimes we're seriously found wanting. Things that extend us, take us out of our comfort zone, call for a commitment of our time (and money) we dismiss and, like the Levite, cross to the other side of the road. Its not our business!
Well, actually it is. Matthew 25, v35-40 reminds us of that. I'd love your help.And Max would REALLY love your friendship. You don't need a counselling or theological degree. Just a heart, and the ability to listen. And guess what? You'll be blessed as well, knowing youre making a difference.
(Max is not his real name - I've change it to preserve his privacy.)
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